A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I had the 'sex' talk last night. He's been making comments, jokes about us having sex, so I set him straight and said, 'I'm not ready.' He was respectful and we continued on... We're all lovey dovey. But he did say, "I want to make things clear, if we're not being intimate that means I won't call you my gf or introduce you as such.' I was in a hurry to walk into class so I said, 'Ok.' Later, I thought...what the heck did that mean? The thing is we've continued on as a relationship. And we still keep talking he says, 'my gf'But that's to me. Does that mean he's allowed to get it somewhere else if I'm not giving it up? Is that what he's trying to say? A male friend told me it's ok?!? It's not okay with me, I'm the gf!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Podge  +, writes (31 January 2009):
 This guy obviously needs to grow up. Good for you for saying your not ready well doen for not being pressured by him. This guy has the wrong idea, so by his strange little theory that means that any drunken hookups or one night stands are his "girlfriends". If i was oyu i would jsut wait untill i was completely ready and if he can't accept that and respect you enough to wait then he really isn't worth bothering about.
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 i think you need to set things stright i get the impression he is fully trying to take advantage of you by using blackmail.
Basically you "boyfriend" is telling you if your not going to give him sex then he isnu going to call you his girlfriend . . . he knows that you will be worried that he will go off with other girls that might give him sex seeing as you wont . he is totally trying to bribe you dont fall for it . . . . .. knock that guy out man
id advise you to leave him alone x x x
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (30 January 2009):
if he really was respectable he would not give you this emotional pressure of saying that if you are not intimate with him then he does not see you as a girlfriend. all i can say is that he is desperate to get you into bed, he does not care about what you want and to be honest babe you are better off without him. he sounds like the type who will sleep with you, then move on.
you can do better then him, you need someone who will respect you and wait for you. not some asshole who pressures you into having sex with him. what sort of realtionship is that?!?
dump his sorry ass!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): It's a subtle way to pressure you into sex. He's refusing you girlfriend status unless you are intimate with him. You don't say how old he is but that's a pretty childish thing to say. I would reconsider this relationship if I were you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Whoa! That is completely not okay! Your boyfriend should have enough respect for your feelings to not only be okay with the two of you not having sex, but treat you no differently for it.
If you say it's not okay for him to get it somewhere else, then it's not. You are the girlfriend after all.
You need to put your foot down. If he wants to go get it from somewhere else then move on! You deserve much better than that. But if he wants to stay with you, then he won't be getting any, and needs to understand and respect your decision. You're not ready yet.
If things don't work out, it might just be for the better. You deserve someone who will respect your feelings on the matter and not make you feel like you should be shunned for it.
Best of luck to you hun!
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