A
female
age
,
*oopla 1009
writes:I been seeing this guy for 5 months now, we saw alot of each other in the beginning but now he seems to forget to call, i have spoken with him and sometimes when he cant get me right away and we have plans he goes and does something else. he said he has to play it but ear, and cant make plans. tonite he told me i have insecurites and dont tell me you dont. I really dont get him. I have no insercities someone help me on this!!!!!!!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): First of all, we all have insecurities of one sort or another.
But this guy is a jerk! He is using you as a "back up plan"
That's what he means by "play it by ear" If he has absolutely nothing else to do, he will use you. Don't allow this to continue. As long as he knows you are there sitting and waiting for him, he will take advantage of the opportunity!
Show him you will not settle for it! As much as you may feel for this guy, you deserve so much more!
Don't allow yourself to be a doormat!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 Well, yes in a way you do. You are insecure about having insecurities or you wouldn't ask here.
He seems to be jerking you around. Why? Perhaps he just hasn't fully grasped that women are people too and not some toy he can use and put away when he feels like it.
Or it could be something darker, putting the blaim on you for his incapability to call and plan and call back, that just isn't nice.
Considering your age, I find it hard to find excuses, a man for 40+ should know better. So for that matter should a woman of your age. He is at best guilt tripping you into making excuses for his bad behavior.
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A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (16 May 2009):
 Don't put up with this a moment longer. He's telling you that you have insecurities to make you feel guilty for questioning him when he cancels on you. He is so not worth bothering about, go out there and find somebody who deserves you! x
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (16 May 2009):
What a loser this guy is! He is too gutless to tell you the truth. He doesnt have the decency to break up with you, so hes making up excuses for not commiting. And then he has the nerve to shift blame on you for being 'insecure'.
Seriously, you deserve better than a guy like this! ive seen this happen to many times, including to myself and its not right. Move on from him, he doesnt deserve your time!!
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