A
female
age
30-35,
*isstfg
writes:I started talking to this guy on a dating site in September we've been talking everyday since on what's app . we had our first date in November . he's been in my life for 6 months but I've been his gf for 3.I thought everything was going fine until recently I saw he had updated his picture on the dating site, when I asked him he said he doesn't use it and I asked him if he's bored of me. He said he's not bored at all and just doubts whether we are compatible and lack of emotion is part of it, conversation may be forced in person (the only time we've been out together is our two first dates otherwise we are at each others place.)(He's always said he enjoys being with me and last wknd he was telling me how much he misses me, he slept over and then went to Manchester for his bro and couldn't wait to come back) and I don't show enough affection in person.(I do kiss him, his neck n his body but maybe not enough) He said he was waiting for things to change but doesn't like forcing things if they don't happen naturally. then later he told me it's because I follow a lot of men on Instagram that he changed his picture on the dating site.I assured him I'm not interested in them. he doesn't seem sure if he wants to be with me he said he has feelings for me.I told him I hadn't realized and show him affection in other ways. he is the first guy I've cooked for (which is really like the biggest step for me)and he knows this, he said it made him feel lucky and special. . he feels that if I suddenly start showing him affection it won't be natural, like I'm only doing it because he said it. But this isn't true, my emotions have been on the inside. He's agreed to come see me so we can talk in person and I said if he feels nothing when we kiss, then we can go our separate ways. in January I asked him if I make him happy and he said I have nothing to sorry about I make him happy and he wouldn't wanna lose me and now this bombshell. I don't want to lose him. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, misstfg +, writes (14 March 2015):
misstfg is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the reply we have had sex,I hadn't looked at it as him thinking he would lose me because he met me online. I did say I could delete my instagram and he's the only one I'm interested in. I'll bring it up again in person
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 March 2015):
 He feels that if you really have feelings for him you would not be following men on instagram. He was wrong to upload his pictures on his dating site as a reaction. He should have talked to you first to see where you stand instead of just assuming the exclusivity was off. There are trust issues. I assume you have not had sex yet. If your relationship of 6 months consists of two dates, hanging out at each other's place and looking at your online activities then I would say it's pretty tame. Usually at this time you are all over each other, saying you can't live without the other.
If you don't want to lose each other, commit to restrict what you do online. Cancel your instagram and his dating site account at the same time. He feels that if you met him online then it would be so easy for you to get with another the same way. Get the trust issue out of the way and see if that eliminates the problem. What he feels is lacking is the sense that he is the only one for you and in your mind you have no one else.
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