A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Would love advice as to if " emotional cheating " on line is as bad as the physical cheating . I have dated my guy for two years and walked in on him skyping a woman who he knows through " business " when he was saying " love talking to you , kiss kiss , hug hug ". She lives in Canada , but I felt the sentiment was emotional cheating . He admitted messaging her on facebook , but it was just " fun " and " escapism " . I would appreciate advice as this woman is skyping him several times a day .......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2017): He IS cheating.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 February 2017):
 I would be fuming if I caught my fella doing this. Off course it is emotional cheating. They skype several times a day? It sounds to me like she is his guilty pleasure. You need to talk to him and tell him you are not comfortable with this. If he cares for you then he should have no problem ending these skype chats with strangers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): I've actually been in this situation but I've been the one using Skype, not the other way around.
I have used someone online because I am sorta unhappy in my own relationship. Relieved some tension and then just blocked whomever I was chatting with.
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (8 February 2017):
 This goes beyond friendly chatting and is hurtful to you, so I think you are right to be upset by it. I expect it is massaging his ego to have another woman being 'intimate' with him, but it's disrespectful to you, so you should tell him you're not happy with it, and ask him how he would feel if you were doing the same with a man. xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): SHE's not the problem, HE is. She has no allegiance or obligation to you, and if he really wanted her to stop then he'd tell her to get lost and cut all contact.
If I were you then I would seriously consider if I wanted to stay with a guy that would be so inconsiderate, disrespectful and dismissive of my valid concerns in order to justify getting his ego stroked online.
And if I were you then I'd quickly come to the conclusion that he's a scumbag, he's not going to change, and I would be much, much, MUCH better off without him starting immediately.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 February 2017):
 Escapism is not the same as cheating (emotional or otherwise). And what he is doing is NOT escapism. I mean what does he have to "escape" from? YOU? Your relationship? If that is so, he should have ended YOUR relationship the minute he NEEDS to "escape" it.
Escapism?! What a load of total BULLCRAP.
I play online games with my husband - we "escape" together for a few hours here and there. THAT is escapism. Not telling someone else that you (general you) LOVE talking to someone or hug hug kiss kiss..
And you end your post with:
"I would appreciate advice as this woman is skyping him several times a day ......."
Don't put the blame on her. SHE isn't dating you, your BF is and if he VALUED you and your relationship HE would be Skyping HER several times a day. Skyping is not one sided - he is AS involved as she is. But HE is your BF (hopefully your soon-to-be ex-bf) and he should have more respect for you and the relationship.
Do you think he would appreciate if you did the same with an another guy? My guess is no.
Why waste your time on this guy who feels a need to "escape" from you and your relationship?
Sorry, OP if this is not OK with you I suggest you end it because he will NOT stop doing this. Because he doesn't "think" he is doing anything wrong at all.
Why waste your time on a man who checks in and out of the relationship when it suits him? How is that going to work long term?
*hint hint* it's not.
Decide if you are OK with it or not, and act accordingly. Now you may say BUT I LOVE HIM! And I get that, but loving him isn't GOING to "make" him behave or "make" him respect you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): Yeah...I think that is really weird if he is using the word love...not cool at all.
Emotional escapism is not ok, you can't just check out of real life and have a fantasy girlfriend living in another country...
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