A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me and we haven't talked to each other for about a week or two.I called him today and asked him why. He said that I "don't understand" him fully and he is very "complex" person than I think he is. And he said we are kinda different each other and maybe not good for each other.He said that he has other reasons2 and I asked him to meet me on Monday and talk it out. I honestly want to go back out with him, but I didn't know what to say when he said that we are not meant for each other. I mean, what about all the good times we have together? And love and trust that I showed to him? I feel betrayed and hurt. I even tried to go out with other guy to forget about all this, but I feel like it has to be HIM who I want.Help Me, What should I do when I meet him on Monday? I want to start things fresh and go back out with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): You are disappointed and hurt at this point and even if he explains his reason for breaking up with you, it will still leave you feeling upset. That's the first thing to remember. Explanations don't really satisfy.
Second is that if he has decided you are not well suited and he doesn't wish to continue, you really have no choice but to accept his decision. No one is saying you have to LIKE it, and you can certainly say you wish he would reconsider, BUT be prepared that he may tell you he has ALREADY given it a lot of thought and his mind is made up.
You have only been broken up with him for a couple of weeks and that's not nearly enough time to get over him. Nevertheless, if you tell yourself it has to be him you want, you are not doing yourself any favors!
Better that you take the attitude that while you do want him, and wish it could be him, if he doesn't want to continue then you will let it go, grieve for a while, and go on with your life without him.
That would be the healthy way to look at this.
Meantime, when you meet him on Monday, be prepared to listen to what he has to say, rather than attempting to persuade him to change his mind. After all, he is telling you that you don't understand him fully and you are both different and not good for each other.
What I'm saying is that LISTENING to him - and of course you must express how you feel - rather than getting him to resume the relationship, is the best way to go. Keep in mind he is not telling you he's THINKING ABOUT breaking up with you; its already done, he HAS ended it - and that's an important difference!
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