A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on tinder, we hit it off and have been dating for 3 months. We're really similar and get along extremely well, but both coming out of long-term relationships about a year ago, so we decided to keep things casual. I got extremely confused when he started treating me like his girlfriend; holding my hand everywhere we went, introducing me to his friends, putting his arm around my shoulder when out drinking with said friends, deleted tinder and okcupid, kissing me goodbye...he texts me every day without fail, often checking up on me and asking how my day is going. I thought he was really into me so I started falling for him, and asked him if he wanted to be exclusive. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, and I get that, but the rejection still hurt, so I took a break from him and didn't contact him for a couple weeks. I got back on some dating sites during that time, and so did he. My profile on one site was out of date, with an old picture, and he sent me a message thinking I was someone else. I was shocked and upset...so I'm ashamed to say I went along with it and pretended to be someone else...I felt awful. The whole time he kept mentioning "his friend" which from his description, I could tell he was talking about me (since he thought he was talking to a different woman) and I could tell that there were some feelings there. I felt so guilty after that conversation, I came clean and told him the truth, expecting him to get angry and not speak to me again...but he forgave me and was so kind about it. After that we started talking again and began dating again, casually, but he's acting exactly the same as before; super sweet and like a boyfriend. Anytime he knows I'm not feeling well, he will check in to make sure I'm alright, and try to cheer me up. He's even helped me find a job and introduced me to some new business contacts, saying he wants me to succeed. He keeps telling me he's a bad guy...but none of his actions so far have indicated that he's anything but gentle-hearted...My actions have shown more badness than his. Yet, he says he trusts me, I don't understand how he could, but he seemed to be telling the truth. I just can't read him. I don't get it. His words and his actions aren't all matching up, but his actions are all so kind it has got my head spinning. I am trying to enjoy the casual thing for now, and I'm still dating on the side since he made it clear he's not ready to be exclusive....but I do really like him. Should I tell him to stop the public displays of affection, and save it for the bedroom only, since a FWB is what he seems to want? Or should I just go along with what we've got, since I enjoy it, even if it confuses me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 April 2017):
 How did his last relationship end? Has he spoke about it? Because really it sounds like he is either still hurting from that or still not over his ex. Because he is simply not ready to be in another relationship. Now you can stay casual and hope that in the future he realizes he wants to be with you long term, or else you can tell him it is either all or nothing and not waste your time on him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2017): I want so much to tell you that he is your boyfriend, but one thing I've learned the hard way is that you must listen to what a man tells you about himself because he is giving you warning that maybe he is just having fun or has broken hearts in the past. Go slow and remember his words.
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