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female
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anonymous
writes: Is love enough? I went for a drink with my ex last night after a month apart, after he finished our five year relationship. He said he still loves and fancies me but doesn't think he'll make me happy in the future so there is no point giving it another chance now. Before we split we didn't just have a good relationship it was amazing and although we were going through a patch where we were both a bit down we weren't fighting or hating each other and I think me being down was due to hating my job, which I've since changed. The love we have for each other has always been really strong and passionate and talking to him last night made me realise this hasn't gone, so how can he just pretend it is now not important? He's now moving back in with the single guys he used to live with before he bought a flat with me which I think means he's going backwards. If we both still love each other what should I do or say to get him to give that love another chance?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2006): i think its run its corse. i know you dont want to hear that but it sems like that to me maybe he was bored with the realationship nothing got to do with you and you cant take it personal, just one of those things. you will find the right person that will make you happy and believe me you will thank your x for doing you a favour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): Based on what you have said, you have a potentially brilliant relationship apart from one thing. He thinks he would make you happy.
Sorry but what kind of reason is that?
Would you not be with someone because you thought you would not make them happy?
Why would he say this? Has he let you down before? Has he cheated on you? Or is it just an excuse when really is he just not interested in you.
He says he loves you and fancies you. That is enough to be with someone. The bit about him not being able to make you happy does not make any sense at all!
On a side note: Is love enough. Hmm. Love is a very powerful emotion that binds people together, but no, it's not enough. You also need commitment and also the ability to compromise when necessary.
Ask him what he means by saying he can't make you happy. Understanding this is the goal to whether or not you can have a relationship with the guy. Good luck!
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