A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship for 9 months. My boyfriend is much older than me and it was with much effort that we are where we are. I have never cheated on him but I suspect that he is having telephonic communication with a girl that was from his past. when I confronted him, he admitted to it saying that all she asked him was if he really loved me and is he serious about me. I don't know if that is true. We are constantly fighting about this girl and I have said that I was going to leave him before but I never did. His sister and cousin have also seen signs that makes them assume he has telephonic communication with this girl. Please help me, I don't know whether I should leave him or whether I should forgive him. Previously he promised that he would stop all communication with her but hasn't and now he is promising the same thing. He has also asked me to marry him but I'm not sure after everything that has happened whether I should even have a relationship with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
To anonymous. You are right that time will tell. It has been 9 months and my bf and i have work things out. This girl is completely out of our lives and my bf has now learned to be honest bcoz he knows that with lies & dishonesty you can lose everything. Just hang in there things would work out and if yourll are meant to be then you would end up together.Dont blame yourself and just speak to your bf about how this has affected you.
Good Luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Hello Im going throught the same thing with my BF. Its this one girl that has been very persistant in calling him and he claims he dont talk to her on a regular basics and it irratates me a lot because its his ex thats calling and it shouldnt be persistant like that. Its really nothing you could do, but tell him how you fill about the situation, warning he's going to continue to tell you that its nothing and she dont call oftern, but only time will tell what it really is and if its bad..he's goig to be the dumb one. I say two for two..KEEP UR MALE FRIENDS and make it obvious and see how his A** feel and he definitely not going to like it:-()
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thanks for your answers. Time will tell - well it has been 5 months now and i know that this girl is a big liar. My bf and i have worked things out but she is always poking her haed in our business. she really wants my bf and would do anything to cause problems bet. us. She is out of our lives but lets just see until how long. My bf know that if anything happens betwwen them we would be throught for good this time.
Thnx for responding.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2007): If something is not making you happy in your life what is the point of having it! leave him i have had previous experinces too i wasted my time and feelings on somebody i wouldnt want you to do the same...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Ask him to let you talk to that girl, IN PERSON.
Confront them both and talk. Truth will come out.
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A
female
reader, DIE-romantic.  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Its upto you really, but if its happening regularly then, its obvious something isnt right and something is going on, so i would ask him right out, give him a choice. Then it is depending on what he says, its upto you whether you choose to carry on living this way, or get out of there!
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
 It is hard.
It's up to you whether you give him another chance or not. It's very easy for me to say no don't.
My reasons for saying no don't is you have said you don't want to get hurt anymore. This guy has lied to you in the past and broken a promise.
Take some time out from this guy and ask him to prove himself- that he can cut contact with this girl etc and see where it goes. That is if you feel he deserves another chance.
Just think really carefully before deciding.
Some people do change for the ones they love. I would never ask my partner to change who he is though just to make me happy.
xxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. I really do love this guy and it is hard for me to just walk away from this relationship because we have been through so much to be together. He is begging me to forgive him, he is even saying that he would do whatever ha has to to prove himself & if in the future i hear anything, i can just waklk away & he wouldn't stop me, he is asking for one more chance,he sound sincere but how would i know that he is, i really don't want to get hurt.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (2 July 2007):
 Hi,
Tell him to stop this, or you are off. Dont let him do this to you, or he will always think he can get away with it.
If this guy wants to marry you, then I am guessing he loves you very much. So he shouldnt do anything that would upset you or make you in-secure. Tell him to put your feelings first, and if he cant do this, then dont marry him.
Give him a chance to put things right though. And if you still feel he is calling her, then dont trust him again. Hope all goes well. XXXX
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (2 July 2007):
The fact he has promised you he will stop talking to this girl and hasn't shows you that he has no interest in stopping talking to her. You need to give him an ultimatum- it's her or you. You can't go on being unhappy in a relationship like this. I wouldn't agree to marry him until this gets sorted out.
xxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you believe that some people change for the ones they love or would i be naive to believe that.
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