| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been dating a man for 1 year. Shortly afer we met, about one month into it, he pressured me to have sex with him and sex was mostly the topic he discussed. I gave in to him too soon, but I liked him and didn't regret it after. After the first time we had sex, he said he was not going anywhere and that he was all mine. One month later, in the same breath he tells me he loves me but that we are not boyfriend or girlfriend (he was drunk). The next day he denies what he said. Three months later, he says I am his girlfriend. (his history was that his ex cheated on him and left him for another man after 13 years - I met him 5 months later). From the time I met him last July to March, he was mean to me and didn't feel he had to report to me. We went on a trip in March and he realized he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Now June, I logged onto his computer (he gave me his password) and although he told me not to snoop, I did and found pictures of a woman he had mentioned he dated .. but the date of the picture is shortly after he and I met! I confronted him and he said he did have sex with her once and did not like her but liked me so he did not see her again but continued to see me. He does not think he did anything wrong. He admits it was a dirty thing to do, but that since it was in he early stages of our courtship (4 days later) that he had sex with her, it was too soon to say he and I were in a committed relationship and he was giving other people a chance to see if they were more or less compatible. I am hurt and I don't know what to do. It has only been since March that he's been serious about our relationship and wants to focus on a future, however, he lied to me I believe ... and he should have got rid of that picture from his computer .. even though he had filed it under Junk. I don't know what to do. He does not seem to realize it hurt me.. Thank you.
View related questions:
drunk, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
Tell him again how much it hurt you, if he cares for your feelings, he'll listen. His behaviour was not acceptable at all but maybe hes realised that now and has changed, if things have been fine since you became more serious i would discuss it with him then put it in the past and move on.
A
reader, pops +, writes (23 June 2005):
Your BF is not mature. Either walk away, or wait until he grows up.
...............................
A
reader, aunt april  +, writes (23 June 2005):
I think he is very confused and doesn't know what he wants. Technically he did cheat on you but he has admmited it. I think you should just wait and see where this relationship goes. If you're still not sure of his commitment, maybe you should think about dumping him.
...............................
|
