A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met someone not too long ago and basically it was bad timing that made us decide against a romantic relationship. After some time apart, we've just begun hanging out again as friends. I know it'll take a while to get used to, since we never started out as friends but as potential relationship prospects, but I'm having trouble figuring out what he wants. He asked me to the movies just as a friend. I had a prior commitment which all our friends (including him) knew about, so it wasn't like I made it up to bail on him. But later he told my best friend he didn't think I wanted to see him anymore. Then another time, a group of us went to friend's place and he blatantly ignored me. Apparently it was because I don't ever pick up his calls so he stopped talking to me. I've never missed his calls on purpose and I've always called back. Things are plain awkward now and everyone can see it. He denies that there's awkwardness and when I try communicating he refuses to respond.My best friend thinks there's "unfinished business" between us and that's why it's awkward. It was a mutual decision to stay friends so I was under the impression that's what we'll be - friends. So why is he saying he wants friendship but acting like he wants more? Why won't he just tell me what he wants? He's 23 and I'm 22, aren't we a little old for games .. What do you guys think - is there "unfinished business"?I'm so confused, any comments are welcome!
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): Original Poster - thanks for your reply! Guess I've been looking at this the wrong way. The only reason I thought he wanted more is because he confides in my friend and she seems to be rooting for us. But that could just be her wanting us to get together.
You're probably right about the movies. Now that I think back he never specified whether it'd be as friends or more. I just assumed it was platonic given our previous decision and didn't think to reschedule. I feel he's a bit impatient but it's understandable - no one wants to wait around for someone who may or may not be interested. I did fancy him but we haven't had any contact in almost 2 months. Any feelings I had are pretty much gone .. so my choice is obvious. Thanks for your advice!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 March 2011):
I suspect there may have been some 'unfinished business'. I think he put it on the line that time he asked you to the movies (he probably had a plan to ask you out), and was testing to see whether you'd see him alone. When you declined, I think he probably decided that he would move on because it appeared is if you weren't interested. I think your friend was right - but may be too late. His behaviour now isn't that of a man who wants more, it's of a man who is trying to get over you rather than try asking again. I think he wants to get over you, and I think that means that he's made his decision. You have a choice, and one that must be more or less done in the next few days so as not to waste time. 1 - If you fancy him, tell him and ask him out. 2 - Pull away. I don't think he's playing games with you. I just think he has decided that he wants to move on. But if you like him and want him, then now is the time to tell him so you know where you stand once and for all.
...............................
|
