A
female
age
51-59,
*eelee88
writes:ok so heres my question.The love of my life lives two hours away. We've been on and off for 4 yrs. The distance kills me sometimes.Him:never married, no kids, me: one child, divorced.He works all summer fourteen hrs a day. In the fall though, he drives down ea. week, stays for days then goes home. He says he wants a future with me, but hasn't figured out the details". He has been very emotionally supportive of me during really hard times, our chemistry is great, He has always been "there" . He helps me with bills, walks my dog, dines me,etc. we really enjoy each other and miss each other. I just don't know how long I can do the distance, with no real plans to move in together. I want to get married, or at least have a partner . I cannot move to where he is, my child's life is here, and his father, his school,etc. I cannot just move my ten yr old away, as he already moved a few times as it is. I don't know If I want to stick this out for as long as he wants. Any thoughts appreciated.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 May 2007):
 I think that you need to be willing to give up your home for one near him. There is always a place to live halfway between. If you can find a location that suits all three of you, go for it. Otherwise, see if you can convince him to move. As long as his mom is taken care of, does it matter where she lives? If she's elderly, she could also check out a place of her own with a personal nurse,or a retirement home, where she can be with people her own age.
DV1
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (22 May 2007):
I think that you need to give yourself an ultimatum. How important is where you're living at the moment? A hard thing about love is giving up time and place for our partner. It sounds like he's so boxed in, that it would be hard for him to move. You have a chance at a family here, and I think that you should ask him to get a big place where you can all live together. You'll all be happier that way.
DV1
...............................
A
female
reader, leelee88 +, writes (22 May 2007):
leelee88 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the responses, I would like more feedback;DV1, I forgot to mention something .. He has a home and his elderly mom lives in it with him. I believe he has been financially supporting her for many years. Also, he is in and grew up in a rural area. Im in the city. He doesnt have the greatest time driving around here,etc.Are you saying give him the ultimatum?
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (21 May 2007):
Express your concerns to him. I have a suspicion that he's waiting for you to take action. A rule among guys is to let girls make most of the decisions. At this point, it seems as if he spends all of his available time with you, regardless of how little that is. He wouldn't be coming down and going out of his way for you if he wasn't willing to compromise his life for yours. If you want to get a place together do it, but only if you're willin to consider giving up your home to be with him. Just because you two don't see each other all the time doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. It means that you both have your lives, but are doing everything to give the other a place in your lives. Tell him how you feel.
DV1
...............................
A
female
reader, hilda  +, writes (21 May 2007):
i would sit him down and tell him its decision time u need to no were the relationship is going as u cant take it any more. and if he cant give u what u want its time to get out
...............................
|
