A
female
age
51-59,
*ery depressed
writes:I was in a relationship with a man 20 years older than me, his kids didnt aprove. So I moved out and stopped seeing him. now a couple months ago we started seeing eachother again.I found out Im pregnant. I thought about it for 5 days, finally told him and he was happy one day, then next asking me to abort it, and then saying he was tickled to death. Now he wanted me to take a test he bought, so I messed with it and it come out negitive so he would not have to argue with his kids anymore so now Im alone.I really love him but cant see him hurt anymore. What should I do, I'm confused? He says he misses me when I'm not there, but when I am, his kids give him a hard time. Please Help
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 Hi Honey,
Well he wont be missing out on his grandchildren but he will be missing out on you and his new child (if you go ahead and keep it). I cant help thinking he is a very stupid man, for bowing down to his kids like that.
I think you should always listen to your children when they voice concern over a new partner, but for goodness sake they are adults not babies. Surely they should let there father have some happiness, or do they expect him to be there for them and forget he still has a life?
I really do feel for you, because you are caught between a rock and hard place, and I wish I could advise you more.
Ultimatly I think the more you push him away, the easier you are making it for his kids to blackmail him. I would tell him that you love him but wont wait forever, and get on with your life.
Like I say if he gives into his kids and doesn't see you anymore, he will end up regretting it and be a very lonely old man.
I used to work in an old peoples home, and it was full of poor old lonely pensioners, who's children could just about be bothered to visit once a month. The sad thing is children grow up, leave the nest and make thier own lives. You should respect them and help them when you can, But never forget that you have a life too.
I think your partner has forgotten to do this.
I really hope it all works out for you, take care.
XXXXX
A
female
reader, Very depressed +, writes (26 August 2008):
Very depressed is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have told him that we need to move on.Im not going to see him that upset any more so that was best interest for everyone.So that is what he thinks but not for meI only done that to keep him from being so upset his kids would then be ok with him.I have made myself misserable for awhile doing with out him but at least he is not missing out on his grandbabies and their life.All honesty im very apset cant stop thinking that I really done the wrong thing cause I miss him with all my heart.I really love him rather he knows that or not I dont know.Im confussed and depressed.
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A
female
reader, Very depressed +, writes (26 August 2008):
Very depressed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis kids are 38,37,33 And if he dont do what they want then they will keep his grandbabies from him and I would rather stay away than for him to not see his grand babies that hurts him cause I have seen them do it.So my best thought is to stay away he knows that im going to have his baby and thats al I can do.You inspired me I love you for the great talk THANK YOU SO MUCH
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (26 August 2008):
How old are his kids honey? He doesnt sound like he has much backbone.
I understand that his kids are important to him, but truth be told, a lot of kids are selfish little sods, and are not there forever. Where-as you will be.
I think that its iomportant to try and get along with your partners children, but if there hell bent on making your life a misery, he needs to do something about it.
I am affraid he is the only one that can sort this. He needs to stand up to them, and tell them he loves you and that they should try to make an effort. But this goes for you as well.
If he wont do that darling, then I'm affraid I cant see that you will ever move forward. Having a baby is hard enough when there are two of you, but being a single parent! Well I wouldnt recomend it, put it that way.
Have a talk with him and be honest with him. If he decides that a baby is not an option with him, because it will upset his kids. Then tell him 'would you have got rid of one of them so easy'. If he is expecting you to have a termination to suit him, then I would say goodbye to him.
You are only young and whatever you decide to do, you will manage.
XXX Take care
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