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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't reciprocate the feelings but he told me the other day he bought her a bag for Christmas a couple of years ago that cost hundreds of pounds. What I find a little annoying is a few months ago he told me he had bought me a CD but he never actually gave it to me. He told me he had listened to it beforehand and put it in his dad's car and simply forgot to take it out. In the end I was annoyed and told him not to bother to give it to me. So it has annoyed me to hear a woman he 'liked' and drank with got such an expensive gift. Of course this was before we met and when he had a good job. The other thing was the comments he made to her on her pictures on Facebook, telling her she's gorgeous and stunning, he never writes stuff like that on mine. Yet he says he loves me and his cousin who I'm close to says he does. Am I stressing over nothing?
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christmas, cousin, facebook, jealous, lost his job, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bubsy  +, writes (19 October 2017):
 Go for a guy that puts you before fb “friends”
I ve just gone through i similar thing n worse with fb shit n confronted him
He didnt compromise or cooparate so,see ya later
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis explantation for the bag was that at the time he had the money and in reality he was being big headed when after he felt he was silly for buying it. He has told me several times that since losing his job last year he feels he didn't like himself back then and doesn't want to go back to being that person, materialistic. He maintains he simply listened to the CD and always meant to give it to me. In general he is very loving and caring and I feel safe with him. He has told me since last week he loves me as best as he can show and I believe he does. I know from what he has told me his previous relationships were nothing particularly special and he wants ours to be so. We have agreed to both try and make changes, on my part that is to stop focusing on his past. Hopefully things will improve, we get on brilliantly when we are together but then I get angry and jealous when I'm not with him and our arguments are text messages, when I have thought about things when he has left
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (3 October 2017):
Thanks for your follow-up it was much appreciated.i understand why you are still feeling narked.Maybe if he started treating you as the Special woman in his life would be a help,and also giving you a gift as New and not being used...as in a second hand gift.Would you consider having a chat with him on this level.Kind regards NORA B.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (2 October 2017):
 He is right you do need to stop going on about his past, it has nothing to do with you or your relationship what he bought his ex. Also I assumed he had posted the comments recently, am not sure how you even are aware he posted these things but you cannot be looking for trouble in his past or the relationship will never last. Stop comparing your relationship to his old one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo be fair he liked and commented on her pictures 18 months to 2 years ago and i asked him what he bought her as he said flippantly when i first met him that he wished he hadn't spent so much on a Christmas present for her. The CD he admitted that he had listened to it in his dad's car and just hadn't thought to take it out. I have got the CD. I still feel i don't really want it now, simply because i feel it wasn't given to me without my asking about it a few times.I still feel narked that he simply gave this woman a bag but he has said i need to stop going on about his past because it ruins our relationship.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (29 September 2017):
He had money when he bought her the bag. But the comments where insensitive. Tell him you are feeling a bit neglected and see what he has to say.
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female
reader, NORA B +, writes (28 September 2017):
Yes i can understand how you feel.Did you ever hear an old saying....Those who care Remember..well in your case your guy does not remember and is very very careless and taking you for granted..which is unkind and unfair.You are quiet right to question his behaviour towards you and feel upset.First of all you need to have an indept chat with him[1]One to try and get a job.[2] Tell him how you feel about his careless way over gifts,also his remarks about Facebook.Its very easy for anyone to say ..I..love you.But ACTIONS speak louder then words,and this guy is not showing you the actions.If after the chat he does not act on your requests and just falls back to his careless ways again.Would you consider finding someone who would love,appreciate and respect you Kind regards NORA B.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (27 September 2017):
 I get why you're feeling a bit neglected and un-cared for.
He just seems to be taking it a bit too easy when it comes to you. Maybe he's past the honeymoon phase and into the comfortable and lazy phase where stuff slips his mind? but that's still no excuse for the neglect.
I think a conversation needs to be had between the two of you and you need to tell him exactly how you're feeling. Tell him that you'd like for him to make more of an effort with you. He needs to know that you don't feel good about him not making you feel desirable and wanted. Just, talk. If he's committed to making it work with you then he'll consider your requests and suggestions.
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