A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating a guy for 7 months. We got together april 2009, and broke up officially in october. He had gone on vacation for 3 weeks, and came back, telling me that he does love me, and that he does want to be with me and he knows that he does. He talks about how he is not looking for anyone else, and he just wants me. However, he tells me that he is scared. He says he needs time to see that things will not go back to the way they where when we where together. We even talk about things like moving in together, and what we will do once we get back together. Not in extravagant detail but we do talk about it, and it does not scare him away. He does not want the fighting, insecurities and jealousy. I agreed, and told him that I am scared too, but still he insists on waiting. I truly want to believe that we are going to get back together in time, but I am scared that he may be stringing me along. I love him, and I know now what I did not then, and want to renew our relationship. What should I do? what do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Him saying that there is no hope for you and that you are just friends is just a way for him to keep you hanging on with a little hope that being his friend will get you what you want, a relationship with him.
Don't fall for it. He's a user. Honestly, as hard as it may be do not agree to be his friend. Let him know that you want him to stop contacting you period, it is over. Do not leave the door open or he will try to worm his way back in at a later date.
You don't need this kind of a game playing guy in your life, he will drive you crazy, he is driving you crazy and you are the type of girl who is somewhat competitive and you feel like you need to hang in there and work harder to get the prize.
Don't do it. HE IS NO PRIZE!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Don't have sex with him, it will just hurt you, and it won't make him love you or get him back.
This guy is bad news, he is immature and heck he sounds to me like he has a personaltiy disorder which means you don't want to be with him because you will end up damaged with no self esteem and confused as hell.
Walk away, he isn't worth it...seriously.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess thats a good answer. Maybe i Shouldn't wait around, its just that I honestly fell for this guy. Just recently I called him, and asked him where we stood and that I was scared he was just playing with me. He got mad, and told me that now there is no hope for us and we are just friends...but he has done this on more than one occasion. We will get along, and he will say there is hope but the moment we don.t there isn't any. Unfortunately I haven't been in enough relationships to read this kind of behavior. We did have sex, but I felt it was a mistake.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): What Kind of Man
By Colin Martin
Find a man, who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the man, who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
Who holds your hand in front of his friends,
Who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
A man who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares
And how lucky he is to have YOU.
A man who turns to his friends and says, "That's her"
The number one reason people get into relationship trouble is because they do not love themselves enough to have standards of behavior that protect them from being hurt. People who love themselves command respect. It doesn't mean they never get hurt. But attracting abuse and chronic hurt either doesn't happen or doesn't occur for very long with those who love themselves. Their love runs deep enough that they are able to practice the tough love that sets good boundaries. They are able to practice the tough love that sets good examples for how to live and love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): http://searchwarp.com/swa214824.htm
Here is something that might help. I don't think there is any guarantee that you two will get back together.
I don't really think it is a great sign that your relationship broke up after only 7 months and that it has been about 4 months and you are not back together yet. Normally, if there is a chance of getting back together it will happen in about half that time...so I don't know what to tell you is happening here except that I would pay attention more to his actions rather than his words.
If it were me in your shoes, I would try to stop putting my focus on him and be a little less available, maybe even go out on some dates with other guys if the opportunity came up...let him see you aren't going to wait around forever...
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