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*lisa
writes: I have recently found out that my husband has been looking at soft porn sites on the internet, and has looked at magazines etc. He says this is perfectly normal behaviour for a man. I was upset by this. He couldnt explain why he does it; can you? We have a good relationship lots of sex and he says he loves me lots and finds me sexy so why is he doing this? Please help me understand. thankyou lisa
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reader, Aunt Cathy +, writes (5 July 2005):
Hiya LisaI know it is really hard for women to understand why men like porn so much when some women don't. It is natural for men to mate and to produce many offspring and porn is a way for them to do this in a practise sense. When a man looks at porn he is having some self time. We all need to understand our bodies and what turns us on and to watch porn is much more enjoyable than masturbating on your own. Your man isn't looking at porn in order to compare and to use in place of making love to you. You did state that you have a very active sex life.If you are really against him looking at porn on his own, why not suggest that you look at it together and maybe mention to him that you do not like him looking at it by himself as you feel inferior. If you are not keen on watching it together and reading the mags together then still mention that you are not happy and see what he says. He should be understanding, but you don't want to feel as if you are competing against this form of media and ruining your sex drive. Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2005): Maybe the positions and the theme of the porn intrigue him?Ask him why he looks at it...
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reader, becky05 +, writes (1 July 2005):
How often does he look at it? If it's now and again I wouldn't worry. If it's on a regular basis I would firmly tell him that you are not happy with it and want it to stop. If he ignores this throw out his magazines and buy an adult filter program for the computer where only you know the password to prevent him looking at it on the net.
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reader, aunt april  +, writes (28 June 2005):
this is perfectly normal. men are visually stimulated so mags and porn sites do it for them try and get involved by doing this it wont seem so seedy and you might enjoy yourself.
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reader, Mitchy +, writes (27 June 2005):
All guys do it. It doesn't mean he doesn't like you. He never even compares what he has with you, to what he sees in porn. Men have a natural desire to spread their seed far and wide, this is a way to scratch that itch without a negative consequence. He loves you, not porn. If it really bothers you, and you can't get over it, ask him to hide it better. And then you stop looking for it.
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