A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a male best friend and we have been friends for 4 years. Recently, we have told each other that we have mutual feelings about one another but ever since then he doesn't show that he feels that way. He tells me things that he has never told anyone and says that he trusts me, which is also mutual for me too. His parents are divorced and he already says he has no intentions of getting married. He has had relationships in the past that have lasted pretty long and has been cheated on both times. I really like him but lately I have been keeping my distance from him because I do not want to become attached to him. He told me that he doesnt want a relationship but he tells me that it makes him nervous how well we get along and he gets so nervous around me. I am starting to become confused because I feel like hes leading me on because he says he likes me but he doesnt want a relationship. I dont know if I should just stay friends because I really like him and I know if we were together we would be great together but I dont want to wait around. I am trying to understand his stand point but it makes me feel like I am not good enough to be with him. I dont think I should have to show him what he is missing out on if he already "likes me."
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): I just came across this post as I too am trying to understand why someone would 'fear' relationships. This is how I see it, this guy is young and doesn't have evidence that relationships are positive experiences. He has been involved twice and has had his heart broken twice. He has seen his parents relationship end. The pain that comes with being rejected by someone you love is hideous. This guy doesn't want to run the risk of losing his heart again only to have it trampled on. Best thing you can do is tell him how you feel about him and if you can, be his friend until he heals. I wouldn't wait around for him, I did and now I regret it. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): I hate my life. I have the same thing going on. Everything sucks. He really doesn't love me afterall. He's just leading me on, and my feelings are very, very strong, and he just lead me down a road of ruin and degredation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): Hi,
I am 35 years old and I just read your post. Have you tried telling him how you feel? What you want? I understand where you are coming from about his feelings, and that is very respectful, but you are a human being as well. He doesn't want a relationship, but he wants to be friends right? You can do that. But if you see yourself starting to get attached, just step back and tell yourself, "he's just a friend, not a "Boyfriend". And who knows, if you show him that you can be a friend, maybe he will trust a little more and become more than a friend.
Good luck to you.
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