A
female
age
36-40,
*haos girl
writes:ok well this is my problem. Me and my ex boyfriend were quite happy when we were living together. we were even talking about getting married and raising a family. then we ran into money troubles and ended up renting off my mother. I lost my job and my ex lost his 3 months later. We were both struggling to find enough money for the rent and owing my mother a months rent. My mothers boyfriend had aheart attack and the pair of us ended up babysitting while she worked. While my ex slept she said awful things about him while he was in the same room .the only problemn with that was he wasn't asleep. he heard every word and I defended him. the next night (after he'd lost another job) we stayed up all night talking about what we were going to do trying to find a solution and not coming up with anything. the next day i fell asleep on the sofa and woke up to my mother coming back from the hospital to a note saying he'd left me. I was heartbroken and devastated. I went back home and didn't eat for 2 weeks and cried every day. Eventually i dragged myself out of this sorry situation and went chasing after him at his mothers and his friends house trying to talk to him. I managed to get him back. 2 weeks later my mother kicks me out for chasing after him because he smokes weed. I haven't heard from her since. I still stand by my choice of going after him even if it did cost me my mother.his mother very kindly takes me in. I end up very stressed by the situation and unfortunately take it all out on him. it ends up that we split up again. Now 9 months later after I lose hiom the 2nd time I still find myself very heartbroken .I can't get away from him because we know work together and there is no chance of transferring and there are no other jobs about that I'm qualified to do. We are still close friends and he still flirts with me. I would say I was crazy with this but even the people in work have noticed, i've explained his behaviour to my sister and brother as well and they think he's flirting as well. HOwever I approached him on the subject a month ago and he said that he's happy single and hasn't been giving me mixed signals at all. If anyone can make sense of this I'd love to hear from you.The signals he's been giving are this:*he waits for me after work and we chat for half an hour*he gets me drinks without asking*he throws bits of paper at me across the desk (nothing written on them)*he looks at me a lot while we're working*he makes jokes about me *he always tries to cheer me up when I'm downI'm so confused by his behaviour and what he says. I've told him how I feel. he's single and I want to see him happy but why does he give me mixed signals when he says he's happy single? should I give up all hope and start afresh somewhere new or do i hold out in jhope that he's going to come back?
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flirt, heartbroken, money, my ex, smokes, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 I am afraid he is not ready to commit yet . You can only have him as a friend and no more. Don't expect too much from this relationship.
A
female
reader, chaos girl +, writes (25 April 2010):
chaos girl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do still want to be with him but he flat out said he's happy single. He said he missed me while I was off sick the other week and that he's going to miss me this week while he's away on holiday. I quite simply told him that I still love him. He was worse the other day. He was winding me up by teasing me and having a laugh and a joke about it and we then got talking about motorbikes and helmets coz he said he'll teach me as soon as I get a helmet. He offered to try his on then changed his mind cos i might get some har in his helmet and it'd tickle him. He then brushed the whispy bits of my fringe behind my ear. I really don't know if I'm making something out of nothing or what anymore
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (5 April 2010):
He is enjoying some personal freedoms and he feels relax about life.
Apparently , he still has feelings for you and is waiting for clearer signals from you.
Do you want to open up your heart to him again ?
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