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female
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anonymous
writes: Help! I'm old enough to know better (in my early 30's!) but I have a crush on a guy and it's killing me! I just can't stop thinking about him. To be fair he's told me he doesn't feel "it", and is just attracted to me but it'll never be a relationship - but one minute he's flirty and chatty and great and then he cuts me off for a while.We have acted out sex acts, as well as having full on sex - though he usually then blanks me for a week or so afterwards which i find really painful. I accept he may never come round (sort of!) but why sleep with me, tell his mate that he likes me, flirt with me etc if he really does feel nothing at all?I just can't cope with this anymore - I know it sounds stupid but to me it's very real and it hurts so much :-(Why can't he at least treat me with some respect - does this mean we're not even friends?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2006): He's not into you!!! Cut him off cold and move on. No, really move on; don't expect more from him and don't accept more if he suddenly gives you attention. If he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. We've ALL had this one before. You'll look back and kick yourself for putting up with him. He's not worth it!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): I'm sorry to tell you this, but i think this guy is just using you for sex, in other words "being friends with benefits" This is totally not fair on you.
He is telling you he likes you, carrying on having sex with you when he knows full well how you feel about him and not wanting to make a full commitment to you.
I'm younger than you, but i've been through exactly the same thing. I kept sleeping with my ex, hoping and wishing everytime that he'd want me, but he never did. If it was left to him, he would have kept doing it, but i gave him an ultimatum, i told him that we're either just friends, or he has to be in a relationship with me, he didn't want to answer me, so i have cut him out of my life. I feel so much better now.
You don't deserve this kind of treatment hun, you deserve a lot better than this, not a guy who just wants you for your body. Tell him you want to know where you stand with him, are you just friends with benefits? or does he actually want a proper relationship with you.
Take care
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