A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I don't know from where do I start. I'm in a very difficult condition to be understood by anyone. My story has started one year back when I kissed him for the first time. It's not that I haven't kissed any guy before him but with him something was different. I had an amazing feeling and I realized that I truly love him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He said he felt the same at that time. We started dating each other. After three months of dating he said that he can't marry me and our relationship has really no future just because his parents will never approve of him marrying a girl from another religion. We both belong different religions. From this point our relationship took a new turn. I didn't understand what to do now as he has find a very good friend in me and for the reason we were dating each other he didn't want our friendship to be affected. Even I too didn't want to lose a friend like him. He is my best buddy too. Then time passed and one day we lost the control and got physically intimate. We both had started physical relations. Initially I was very sure that this won't affect our friendship. I tried my best not to think much about taking the relationship ahead but I failed. When I see my other friends happily married and spending time with their husbands I feel isolated. I too want a stable relationship with a guy. I too want the world to see me and my partner with respect. But the guy is still on his words that he will never get married to me. He is afraid of society and his parents. In future he might even have to leave this city and get married to the girl his parents choose for him. I don't understand what should I do now. Should I leave him? Or should I be with him but not to continue any physical relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (4 December 2013):
 I am so sorry to hear this. It's his loss. This happened to a friend of mine at work. Thirty years ago, the man she was in love with, left her, because his parents did not approve of their relationship. He opted for the arranged marriage. Thirty years later, she received a call from him asking for forgiveness. He said he had missed her terribly over the years. It was 30 years too late. She is now happily married to someone else and has grown children. She called him a coward and never took his calls again.
He will regret his decision. In time you will get over this immense grief, and you will find someone else who wants to be with you no matter what. Take it one day at a time and cut all contact with him. He made his bed, now let him lie in it. You will survive this. Trust me on this.
All the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for replying. You are right. He is going to obey his parents now. We're breaking up. I have left no words. But I'm totally shattered and devasted.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all,
My boyfriend is in talk with his parents. He says he'll try to convince them. He will make them understand our relationship. But this time if nothing works out then we'll get searate. That's for sure. I'm deeply and madly in love with him, I don't know how will live without him.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (21 August 2013):
You need to leave. I speak from experience. Your heart will be shattered when he eventually leaves you to marry someone else. He's not going to change his mind. He has already told you that he does not intend to marry you.
I don't want you to end up like me, watching his wedding photos online and bawling my eyes out. It took me a long time to get over that pain.
As painful as it is now to break ties with him, it will be less painful than when he eventually leaves you.
You will find someone else who is more compatible, and again, I speak from experience:)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 This man cannot give you what you want.
YOU are not responsible for him therefore you should not stay out of guilt or worry....
if he has said he won't give you what you want/need (saying I CAN'T is the same as I WON'T) and you want more, you must leave... what happens to him after you leave is not your problem.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 August 2013):
 oops sorry about the hiccup.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 August 2013):
He's a big boy, let him fend for himself. You need to get out of this dead end. Best to get the heartache over with and move on.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 August 2013):
He's a big boy, let him fend for himself. You need to get out of this dead end. Best to get the heartache over with and move on.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (21 August 2013):
 Hi, you are worried about leaving him and when he marries someone of his parents choice and leave you, how will that make you feel? Will you then worry is his wife sleeping with him?
You are really setting yourself up for serious heartache.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone,
Thank you so much for taking your precious time in answering me.
I'm still very confused what to do. I'm in kind of live-in relationship with him. Every time I think of breaking up I feel guilty. Because if I leave him he has nobody there with him. He'll be all alone. And I'll be worried for him all the time then. I really don't know what am I supposed to do. His family stays very far from here in a different state even.
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A
female
reader, addicted2sweetness  +, writes (26 July 2013):
 Hey darlingIm sorry to hear about this dilemma you are in and its really horrible feeling. Coming from a south asian background myself I totally understand the whole concept of marrying within the same religion. I feel he is just as confused as well because with our culture family, religion culture is highly important because we come from a society where people speak and gossip about others and nobody wants to bring shame or embarassment to the family to avoid the risk of being harassed by others outside the family! Its sad but so true!My advice is just as everybody else has also stated...it is best you cut off all tis with him. You are not only making this only harder but very painful for yourself if you continue being intimiate physical and emotional with him. Its not right what he has done, one of you should have been the stronger person. He should have stopped you being physically intimate because it is from his side that he cannot marry you :(One day you will meet the right person. Because he is not meant to be. Take this as a learning experience...there are millions more fishes in the sea :D You will certainly find your soul mate who is compatible with you, compatible with your family everything! Im sure of itAll the best darling xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (25 July 2013):
 You want to get married. He's already that stated that he won't marry you because he puts his religious values above his romantic feelings for you.
End it because as things are now you're just wasting your time clinging to an idea that won't happen while you could be out there finding someone who will both love you AND be able to marry you.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (25 July 2013):
Hi, he has told you he will not marry you, why did you not break things off completely. You are now in sexual relationship and nothing will come of it. Remember don't see things that are not there, when he said he will not marry you he was speaking the truth.
You need to walk away from this relationship, or you will watch him get married and continue to be his bit on the side. You risk reducing yourself to being his mistress , so run and stop all contact with him.
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