A
female
age
51-59,
*eitalian10
writes:I had started a relation with a man in 2007, I fell hard,alcohol induced, he hurt me really bad. It put him in the "friend catigory but only for to wait for him to get proper help" so, waiting, we actually established a relationship as the closest friendship/love, not sex or kissing but same as a relationship, he was doing AA and ok,then he started to hang around a womaniser and a drunk(His work mate)every day, skipping work,drinking a lot and lying about a lot!I had it, thought he would get it together, I met up with a person I had known all my life, dated for a few summer months, hoping this "soul mate" would heal his problam. ANY how, I just realised how much I really LOVE this man who is my soul mate...WE dated in a real intimate relationship from Oct- Nov./ ~Sept he said he met a girl, went on a date but no big deal. We dated Oct, Nov... he roughed me up again after a binge a few days befor Thanksgiving, I lost it on him. He dumped me dated this other girl and then called me befor X-mas, said how we are soul mates, he loves me. we stayed 2 days together. He e-mailed me 2 days later Dec 22nd/2009, saying he is in love with the other woman and is engaged to her.SO, all the holidays after 3 years, New Years and all nothing, then the calls come, He says," I love you come see me"...and getting dumped again every time 4 times. Is he really in LOVE with this girl, OR BSing me? Or do you think he is just confused and hurt when I dated the other man over the summer (pay back)? I just dont get it, if you are engaged, you do not call your x and have them stay the night that many times.. Its NOT a bootie call. Just very soft and LOVING cuddeling? I am at a loss for words. He says he cant forgive me for dating the other man, But expects me to forgive his alcohol abuse and pure abuse phsyically. I know it sounds crazy, but I treat alcohol like a cancer, it IS a disease and wouldent bugg out , but he needs to help him self, and was not. Dont know what to do I love him and want to spend my life with him, but he can not forgive me leaving the situation last summer. He opens the wound every time I see him, every time he calls... I am not good at playing games. I Love him and too old for all this drama.? any Ideas out there I want this to work , if it is possible? HELP!
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booty call, drunk, engaged, I love you, kissing, soul mates, soulmate, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): Alcohol abuse and physical abuse alone are good enough reasons to stop seeing the man, plus he's ENGAGED and using you. The reason he can't forgive you for seeing another man is because he knows he doesn't deserve you and you can find someone better. Even if he doesn't have sex w u, he looks to you for the comfort he knows you WILL give him, because he feels guilty he looks for you, so his conscience stops bothering him,he doesn't do it for you.
I was there for SIX years, I left him a lil over a year ago only he can fix his issues and change, I almost lost myself trying to help him and neglected my son for it and that was not fair to my son or me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): He's never going to change, honey, when it comes down to it. You obviously care a great deal about him, but he's damaging you emotionally, and the physical abuse he's given you is unforgivable. You need to let him go and get on with your life before he really hurts you. His soulmate is alcohol, and it's not like cancer, because with help, people can get dry. He doesn't want to. Get out whilst you can.
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