A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been bestfriends with this guy for a year in a half. He always had feelings for me but I never really had feelings for him. He was always there for me and I could always vent to him. 3 months ago k found out he was moving 2 1/2 hours away. We were both devistated. I knew I needed to be there for him to help him get through this. Three days before he moved I went to his house and we just cuddled in bed and talked about how much we will miss eachother. Then the day before he left I went to go say goodbye to him, we both cried, we cuddled, he held me and told me everything was going to be okay. Something happened to me those two days... I fell in love with my bestfriend. I told him this and he told me he was sooo happy because he got what he always wanted. We decided to take our relationship to the next level and date. He told me he wanted to be with me forever. I felt the same way. He would come up and visit me every weekend. I gave him my virginity. I fell hard and fast for him. He was my everything and I cared for him so much. Hes got some problems with abusing substances. He drinks because he moved. And just recently started to OD on cough syrup. I don't agree with any of it. He promised me he would stop the cough syrup. I believed him... The day before new years eve I asked him did you take cough syrup today? He said yes. I blew up. He broke his promise. I told him I wasn't going to put up with his shit. I'm not his mother. He told me that he didn't know how much I cared and that he would stop. I forgave him, and we moved on. The day before new years eve I drove and hour to go pick him up. We spent hours together. We kissed so much and hooked up. I had a amazing time. He told me that on new years eve he was going to get drunk with his two friend, his plans didn't involve me. I was very hurt by this but kept my mouth shut because I didn't wanna sound pathetic. He made no contact with me all day so finally at 3 pm I texted him to see how he was doing. We texted until 4:30. I didn't hear from him all night... I sent him a text @ 12 saying happy new year to let him know I was thinking about him. He didn't respond. I was pissed. When I woke up the next morning still no texts or calls from him. I waited and waited... I went on facebook and I see these girls I know were at that party he was at last night. He didn't tell me it was a party. He said he was hanging out with his 2 best friends. At this point I was furious I let him know I was done. That night I went to a party and his friends were their I had a feeling he cheated on me since when I asked him if he hooked up with someone and his lame excuse was I can't remember anything I knew that didn't say much. Well anyways I asked his friends and I acted like I already knew. He told me he hooked up with another girl, a slut who cheats and doesn't give a shit. I asked him and he finally admitted it and told me he was ashamed and sorry and how much he loves me and take it all back and how much he needs me.I don't know what to do... Take him back? I'm so hurt I lost my bestfriend. I gave him everything I had. I Never lied to him. I was always there for him when he was upset. I fell in love for the first time with my best friend, he said he was in love to. He told me that this is not who he is it was the booze and he said that I know that he would never Hurt me it was the booze. Alcohol is no excuse. I love him so much. I don't know what to do with myself :( should I take him back and have rules that he needs to follow an if he first I'll cut off all ties? Please help!!! I'm so confused:(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 January 2010):
You've already forgiven him too much. He made promises and broken them, he has a problem with drink and now he's cheated on you. DO NOT take him back. You're too good for him and he clearly has no respect for you at all. He didn't even invite you to the party, so he may have even planned to cheat. There are better guys out there than this, so run a mile and find a good guy.
A
female
reader, Tegan95  +, writes (3 January 2010):
Hun,
In my opinon alcahol is a very risky substance to be taking when in a relationship, especially if you cannot handle yourself in situations that you should be able to. But , everyone deserves a seccond chance. Inform him that this is the only chance he will get, otherwise he will think he has plenty. Give him rules to accept, or you are done. For example; " I don't want you drinking unless I or someone i trust is there."
Talk to him, tell him your concerns.
Let him know you are hurt and that you will not accept this again.
Make it very clear you are on the edge.
Hope i could be of some help.
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