A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gay best friend told me he was "experimenting" when he took my virginity! We were both virgins and he told me for months and months that he liked me, I liked him a lot! I was practically in love with him, we used to spend hours on the phone every night, (I'm 16, he's 19). He never had a boyfriend, he seemed straight! He had previous girlfriends! We went out on Friday night and we got a bit drunk (not very drunk) we were still on earth lol, and we ended up *heat of the moment thing* in his garage (which is done out, it's his bedroom) and we ended up getting very worked up and slept together! He was all over me, kissing, yeah I'm sure you know what it's like! and it was both our first times! It felt special, we slept together, woke up in his arms and we were playing on his xbox when this guy knocked on his door! He answered the door and kissed this guy, I was gobsmacked! Seriously, I was confused! he turned around to me and said *my name* this is *guys name* my boyfriend! I was like :O!!!!!!! Can we have a private word?!! He came back in and closed the door and we had this big talk about how he was gay and he had been with this guy for 4 months! I asked him what *last night* was all about! He told me he was *experimenting* told me he wanted to know what it was like! It meant something to him and he has feelings for me apparently, I just dont 'do it for him' !!! I'm so confused! What's going on?! I dunno what to do! Please someone help,
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female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 He's probably been struggling with his sexuality for a while. It sounds as though you and he have a very strong connection... and if you had been a boy you would have been the one. He was probably testing himself to see if he could possibly feel anything for a woman sexually, seeing as everything else was in place.
However, he selfishly didn't consider the feelings of the woman in question. He shouldn't have done that to you. You aren't some sort of science experiment. You have emotions too, this was your first time, it was important. It was very unfair of him to do that to you - and the way he just casually mentioned, "Oh by the way, this is my boyfriend" the next day makes everything even worse. He was only thinking about himself. Granted, he has probably had a very difficult time of it, but that doesn't give him the right to forget about the other people around him.
You don't have a future together, anyway. He has done his experiment and the results were negative. He's gay. I am sorry that he did this to you, he shouldn't have. He didn't do it deliberately but he completely neglected to take your feelings into consideration. You have to move on from here. I'm sorry.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): If you expected that sleeping with him would commit him to you in some way, I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. But obviously it didn't, and you can't make him, for lack of a better word, not gay. It was inconsiderate of him to take your virginity without being honest with you, but all you can do at this point is try to move on from it. You and he do not have a future if he is attracted to other men.
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