A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am having trouble coming to terms with my ex's behaviour since we've split up I just feel I need to understand it in order to move on more quickly.My ex and I were together for three years in what increasingly became a tempetuous relationship, we have been split for six months. During our relationship I did help my partner out an awful lot, he acknowledged this and said that he would like to think that if there was anytime that he could do something for me that he would.About six weeks ago I text and asked if he would come and look at my heating as it was not working, he immediately started coming back with rude text inviting me to have sex. I had just started seeing someone at the time so apart from any other reason it was out of the question for me. This happened a second time a few days later, again I turned him down although I had decided to finish with the person I was seeing. I was cold and under alot of stress because one of my parents is terminally ill, if my flat was only warm it would be some small measure to make my life more comfortable and I could not understand why after everything I had done this seemed an impossible thing to ask. The whole business resulted in his sending me a text saying 'We are finished, accept it and move on'!!!' I was so mad that I went around to his house to ask him to tell me to my face how he could behave in such a way. He was not in but I recognised what was obviously a girls car in the drive I was not remotely surprised as I knew that was why he was acting so arrogant (although I had not expected her to be around) - so I left her a note telling her exactly what he was like and that I hoped they had only just met as he had been attempting to have sex with me a few days earlier.Believe it or not within a few days my ex and I had a nice conversation on the phone and he agreed to come around and look at my heating. The day he was due however I made the mistake of turning the tables, I was feeling quite frustrated and my ex and I exchanged sexy messages all day and had great sex - once he had fixed the heating and a few other things around the house. He said he wanted to repeat the experience and at the time I was up for it because I've had no time to myself recently with my parents illness and I am under alot of stress. He wanted to see me again and in effect start an affair - in less than a week he was around again but after this time I was not prepared to carry on with the situation as it stood. He has since accused me of relentlessly pursuing him! As he started with the sexy texts I don't know where he gets off with that comment. It turns out that he has been seeing this girl for six weeks so that was before he started with the naughty texts. He is getting sex in his relationship so does not need a 'booty' call but says he loves sex with me and prefers my body - he says that I am screwing with his brain, that his new relationship is 'nice' as she cooks him dinner and bakes him cakes even if she is a bit boring. I asked why he was bothering, why he didn't just look for someone else if that was what it was like after only six weeks.Yes I know the guy is a jerk but I feel that I need to understand his behaviour in order to move on which is why I would be particularly interested in hearing from guys. He knows my parent is terminally ill could he really be just plainly that selfish - even under these circumstances knowing that he is just adding to my problems? Erm i guess the answer is great resounding 'Yes' huh?
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affair, her ex, move on, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your reply. I know it is kind of crazy but sometimes you just have to hear what you know from someone else.
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