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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok...I'm in my sophomore year and I started talking to this guy during my freshman year. This guy seemed like a normal every-day-life boy and we like talking to each other on msn. We never really talk to each other in real life(for some unknown reasons) but we would talk for hours on msn.One day he told me to call him because of some technical difficulties and so I did. We talked for around 3 hours which is both our "records" and he said he would call me the next day. We started talking daily on the phone like this for hours and we would share each other's secrets and past. After talking to him for nearly 3 months I start to feel that I like him for more than just a friend.One night he called and told me that he could not get his mind off of me and that I "brainwashed" him and turned him gay. While he said this he was kinda giggling so I didn't know what to say even though I want to tell him the same thing. So I just laughed and said that it was a nice joke.This other time on msn while I was crying he told me not to cry and asked if it would make me feel better if he told me he loves me, but I totally still didn't know if he was joking so I just said I was ok and we stopped talking. The next day I asked why he said what he said and he told me that he only said it kus he thought I was gay and that he wanted to make me feel better.For everytime we talk late at night he would suddenly say something like "If only you were a girl...why can't you be a girl?"When school started we never really spoke at school and I just felt shy and kept ignoring him at school even though I really want to talk to him normally and build our friendship, but he eventually got mad at me and said that he doesn't want to talk to me.A few months has passed now and I heard he made out with a girl while drunk that he totally doesn't like.I don't know if he is gay or bi or if he had any feelings for me and I want to tell him how I feel but don't know how to or if he would flat out laugh at me. Can anyone tell me what to do because I'm so lost and depressed without him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): I think he likes you but is angry that you do not speak or socialise with him at school.
You need to get over your shyness and go speak to this boy and hang out like real friends/boy friends. Getting to know each other on the phone or MSN is great but real contact is getting and speaking to the person in person while he is right there is front of you.
How about you arrange some time together, like the movies, or playing games, drinking. You need to develop your face-2-face relationship further and take it from there.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, htownefrain2007  +, writes (2 February 2007):
WELL!!!!!! I know how u fell!! LIke i told my homeboy and he just stoped talking to me!!!!!!!!!!! OMG it hurts so much he actually holded my hand and flirted but he was str8!!!! It depends if u ignor him 2much he will 4get about u!!! 4 real!!! If u dont and u get to clingy he will start to get away from u!!!! Start talking to him like a friend and look 4 a sign that tells u he likes u!! BYE
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A
female
reader, kad +, writes (5 January 2007):
mayb u should spk 2 him abt the things that he's said 2 u. even if it's jst 2 check whether he's confused abt his own sexuality
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):
Look the guy obviously doesnt want to be gay with you so leave him alone.
Whether you think he is really gay or bi, or didnt like his date with a girl doesnt matter.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (5 January 2007):
 First it is impossible to brainwash someone in to being gay. It sounds like your friend is questioning his sexuality, has an attraction to you but isn't ready to act on it for fear of ridicule, and for being something other than straight. High school is a difficult time, peer pressure and ridicule are not condusive to finding out who you really are. Confusion at this age about your sexuality is pretty common, and normal at this stage. You are both just beginning to learn who you really are.
I know it is confusing, and painful to be in this type of situation. Being accepted as yourself in one situation, and being rejected in another situation by someone you care about it never easy. You cannot force him to figure out whether or not he is gay. He needs to decide his sexual orientation on his own through some deep thinking, exploration, and possibly, simply acceptance. What may be an easy 'desicion' for some, can be painfully difficult for others.
What you choose to do about this situation is entirely up to you. It all depends on how much you are willing to risk. If you desire to tell him how you feel, you must be prepared to either be accepted by him OR rejected by him. At this point I would believe that he may reject you until he comes to terms with his own confusion. If you do chose to tell him how you feel, be prepared for any reaction, but also be honest.
If you feel that you can't tolerate the possibility of more rejection from him, I would just continue on with your life, allow him to learn about himself, and be there if he approaches you to continue your friendship in the future.
Wish you the best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): Well actually...I have had many crushes on girls and I guess you could say he's the first guy so I wouldn't really know about these things. He said that he tells me stuff that none of his friends knows and he never told his friends about talking to me. When his friends asks about me he just say he doesn't know me and tells me he was in a "tight situation".
One night he told me if he were to rate how important his friends were he would give them a 1 or 2 but if he were to rate me he would rate me as a 8....I guess I'm not that important and that you are right...I shouldn't spend time thinking about someone who doesn't even care about you.
Thnx ^^
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): No, you didn't brainwash him in to being gay, it sounds like he was joking to me. Is he the same age as you?
Some people are very sure they are gay at your young age, but most arn't entirely sure and may have the kind of encounters like this guy is having with you.
It doesn't sound like he is a gay guy, more than he is open with his feelings and emotions.
You have too much going on at your age to be lost and depressed wondering if this guy is gay like you, you would do well to try and keep things on a friend level with him if he wants to talk to you again, but if he doesn't, accept that he does not want to be your friend and instead concentrate on your school studies which are far more important.
You are going to meet so many new people in the next few years as you get older, so don't get hung up on this one unavailable person.
All the best, ok? :)
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