A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Okay guys/girls..I will try my best to keep this short...I've been with a guy, lets call him R. for almost 3 years now. things were always rocky, he was abused by his parents and it seems he takes his anger at them out on me...But thats not the whole issue...when we first met he told me he liked to masturbate with rubber inflatable objects..I thought that was pretty odd, but since he didn't ask me to be involved at first, I didn't think much of it...So then one day he decides to tell me he wants to have sex with me while wearing them...me, being an open minded person, I decided I would give it a try..just once...and without going into detail..the inflatable object was the focus and I hated it...I want the person I am with to focus on ME when we are together like that...So I told him I didn't like it, and he stopped it all together...so a year goes by and he suddenly decides he wants to do that again...so he starts sleeping wearing them!!!!! and masturbating with them..as well as trying to push me into sex with them, which I refused...So then he tells me he has always liked wearing womens clothing and could he wear some of mine when we're home alone?This just seemed to get weirder and weirder....but after talking to his older friends I found out that he wanted to have a sex change and even dated MEN before me!He's even come out and told me to my face that he is gay...which he then tried to take back saying he said it just to make me want to break up with him so that the end of the relationship would be my fault!How am I supposed to believe all this has suddenly gone away because he said so???? he's now pushing me to get married and have kids...and I can't bring children into a situation like this!Please HELP!!!!!
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reader, Collaroy  +, writes (23 October 2007):
 It sounds like he wants the so called stability that the life of wife and kids apparently offers. He can pretend he's "normal" while engaging in his own peculiar fantasies. You see these guys coming out of public toilets followed by their conquests, they then step into the family SUV with the baby on board sticker and rocket back to their normal life.
You are nothing but a vessel to help him achieve this aim.Is there any talk about what you want in the relationship? I would think this doesnt matter one iota to him, its all about you serving his needs.
Dump this creep, and you might just meet someone who wants to treat you as a proper human being.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): He's gay, he's a weirdo and he wants to trap you by having kids & geting married..run far away. One day you're going to look back & be discusted with yourself for ever being with this fruitloop. But you got to take the steps to get away from him so you can find happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): I have to be honest with you. If you marry him, are you ready for a future lifetime of this crap? Listen dear, you have a man there who has a desire for things in this relationship that make no sense to you. What does that tell you? That means you and he don't share the same relationship needs and values. He needs to find someone who is more like-minded like him, and you need to find someone, more like you. Don't be one of those gals who has a stupid willingness to over look troubling traits in her guy. When you mention his abused background in which he takes it out on you--I say that is a big, huge, blinking red flag. Are you prepared to possibly put children through that, as well? So if you were to stay with him-I will ask you: Why are you settling? Why are you not more selective? You seem horrified and disgusted with him. Is that not enough to make a good decision here on your own...hun? Can people change? I dunno..has he ever shown you he has the ability to change in the past 3 years? So, if you want something beautiful and meaningful in your life, hold out for it. Hun, never, ever suspend your rationale and common sense and not utilize it. In order for you to get that normal, healthy relationship you want...first off--get rid of this guy. Because even if he did make you feel special and said thing you wanted to hear...that doesn't mean you just ignore who he really is. And who he is...is he's NOT the guy for your life. You are going to have to use your courage..there is no magic here. Tell him good-bye.
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