A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:One year ago I was involved with a man for three months (I had know him a year before dating). We were doing great together and both of us were very happy. Then suddenly within a 2-week period his brother got terribly ill, his friend was killed in an vehicle accident, and he was facing a potential law suit at work. He was depressed and overwhelmed and he told me he needed space. I honored his request and asked him to contact me when he was ready. Six months later I initiated contact because so much time had passed and he shared what a idiot he had been with regards to not contacting me -- he shared that he missed me terribly but was still not back to his full self. He clearly was not ready to jump back in a relationship so I began dating other men in order to move on. However, he still held a very special place in my heart. We work in the same profession so we saw one another quite often. We would be kind and he even texted on special occassions including Christmas and New Years. Another 6 months passed by before we spoke about our past relationship and I shared that I wanted him back in my life. It was very emotional and we both got tearey eyed. He said how much it meant to him that I opened up and shared that he wanted to start off where we left off. Well it's been almost 2-weeks and he seems more withdrawn then ever. He has called a few times but he hasn't asked to see me since our conversation. This past Sat morning I left a message saying that it would nice to get together over the weekend but I never heard from him. He left a voicemail on Tues and didn't mention my message. I called back on Wed morning and he picked up right away however, we lost wireless connection. He hasn't called back yet. I'm confused and feeling that he isn't ready after all. What do I do next? Do I speak with him about his withdrawl? Do I allow him to move at his own pace? Or do I simply move on? z
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at work, christmas, depressed, hasn't called, move on, period, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): 'Move on' is the short answer. After numberous 'breaks' and suggestions from you to see each other, nothing has happened. You have given him every chance to resume the relationship. I think it is safe to say that it isn't going to happen. He obviously doesn't want to come right out and say so, but hopes you'll get the message. That is how I read it. So stop waiting for him and go find someone else.
A
female
reader, bigirlneedshelp_91 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 since i suffer from major depression. i know how hard it is on a person and on their loved ones.( i lost my girlfriend because i withdrew from her as your boyfriend is doing to you.) my two pieces of advice to you are first and formost try to get him to go talk to someone.(i.e a psychologist or a psychiatrist) It will help your relationship in the long run. secondly if you love him talk to him about his withdrawl. be there for him as much a you can if he decides to seek help. However if he refuses and he continues to withdraw from you. Then you have to be true to yourself and move on.
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