A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really like this one guy, and he really likes me, too. We went out over the weekend. He showed up with surprise gifts, which was really sweet. We previously planned some things to do, but we ended up just staying in my room chatting away cuddled up on my bed until late at night. We started making out and eventually made love. At first I was really nervous and scared, and he just held me and told me he wasn't going to do anything until I was ready. well, even before we had sex he has told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't like me. He just said he wasn't ready and I wasn't either (I've recently gone with a bad breakup). He held me all night and morning. When we woke up the morning he gave me the first sip of water and made my bed and folded my pj's for me while I was gone showering. He constantly made an effort to stay close to me and have me close to him. He stayed with me for a couple more hours until had to leave (he goes to a university an hour away and doesn't have car. his friend was his ride back to school.) He told he that he wasn't exactly sure when he was going to be able to visit me again, but he promised to come back at least once by the end of October and possibly for his fall break. I'm so confused. I really like him. And I understand that he isn't ready for a relationship and I'm really happy that he let me know that before having sex. and I don't know why but I feel really comfortable around him, especially compared to my recent ex, whom I've dated for over a year but still felt distance from. I've had more fun with him in a day than I had fun with my ex in over a year!! I trust that his words when he says he likes me but isn't ready for a relationship and he still finds me as beautiful and attractive even after sex. Nevertheless I just wanted some second opinion/advice. After all, I'm head over hills for him and I want an advice from an unbiased third party. Does he seem like he truly cares for me and likes me?? Would there be a chance of him maybe changing his mind about dating or should I just forget about it all now?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 Sweetie, you naturally love the attention and the treatment this man gave you. The weekend seems a very romantic and caring one. So, I understand your feelings for him. You wish you had a relationship with him, don't you?
I hate to give you this bad news, but, I don't think he is ever going to change his mind about a relationship with you. And, I don't think he truly cares about you.
I think this way because, when you truly care about someone, you can't wait to see that person again. You don't say you're not ready for a relationship; much to the contrary, you are very willing, very enthusiastic about one. Like yourself, dear.
He doesn't feel what you feel. My advice is, forget him.
Take much care.
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