A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hay, my boyfriend is in the navy and hes just gone away on a 7 month tour of the gulf. it was really hard when he first went and we both really missed each other as we have been going out for a year and we live together so we are/was very close now he calls every 2 or 3 days and emails every other day, i understand hes busy but the other night on the phone he said he was getting used to been away and its not effecting him as much? now he has a relaxed attitude to our relationship! have we grown apart? i dont know what to do plz help me? or am i just been paronoid?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): I agree with the other poster here. If what your bf means by saying he feels more relaxed about your relationship, as opposed to worried or anxious, then that's a good thing! It would indeed mean he has reached a certain comfort level with you.
However, you could ask him next time you talk what he means by relaxed! Make sure you approach it in an "I'm curious" manner, NOT as feeling insecure or anxious or paranoid!
But if you think you might have such negative feelings then you should maybe wait until you have a little more confidence - unless you can manage to SOUND calm, curious and confident, that is!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I think what he means is not that hes grown apart from you or the relationship.I think he means he feels as though the relationship has moved in to the comfort zone where you dont have to keep proving yourself to eachother. Dont worry this is perfectly normal in any relationship. :0)
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