A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The other day the gut I've seeing for a couple of months asked if its OK if he still sleeps with other women I got really upset andsaid no it ruined the nice night we were having. now he's saying but he only said that to test if I was serious about him. Sounds like complete crap to me. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): Wrong on every level.
It's NOT acceptable to 'test' a partner, however the test is carried out and for whatever reason.
As well as that, the way he delivered the test was idiotic - leaving aside the fact that he shouldn't have been testing you about anything, the way he said this was less than admirable. At least if he'd said "Do you consider us to be exclusive now" it would have been a more clever and sensitive way if handling the fact that he was trying to figure out if he could get away with sleeping around at the same time as seeing you.
Finally, unless he already was aware that you were both agreed that you'd be in an open relationship, or that you wanted to be, he should not be checking to see if he can sleep with other women.
I also think he was probably already sleeping around.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): Well, in all fairness, he could have been testing.
I do the same thing with my boyfriend. When I feel like he isn't paying enough attention to me or is taking me for granted, I ask if he'd prefer an open relationship. He says absolutely NOT. I am trying to push buttons in order to get his attention cause I feel neglected. It's immature but I do it anyway.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 July 2018):
 Extremely strange way to ‘test’ someone.
I’d test if he could find someone else by removing him from my life. Sounds like he is testing the waters to sleep with multiple people and came up with a lame excuse when you called him out.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (27 July 2018):
 He was testing the waters to see if you'd say it was fine. Chances are, he's already done it or wants to, so it doesn't seem like a good idea to continue dating him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 July 2018):
 I do think it was a test of sorts, except he expected you to say OK.
And any guy (or girl) who do "tests" instead of just having a conversation are IDIOTS.
I'd let this one back in the pond, he is a twat.
I wouldn't BE surprised if he hasn't slept around already.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): Sounds like complete crap to me too. Even if it weren't I think testing one's partner is also crap.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): He's trying to make you feel insecure and worried, making you think that he's still wanting to sleep with other women. Yes, you're right. Him saying that it was to see if you are serious about him is total bullshit. It was something he would KNOW would upset you. He probably has no intention of sleeping with other women.His intention is to make you miserable, insecure, needy and lacking in self confidence. Who says something like this? Do you think he is a nice person? It is the trick of an abusive man. Any nice man would NEVER say something like that to his girlfriend if you are exclusive. This is just the beginning of making you feel like shit. He is on a mission believe me. Emotional abuse. Read up on it and see what you're in for if you stay with him.Good luck.
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