A
female
age
30-35,
*aritosa
writes:Everything's been going great in my relationship (or so i thought)and me and my boyfriend haven't had an arguement in ages. i saw him on mon and everything was fine. we had a BBQ and he kept saying how happy he was and what a good day it was. then he rang me on tues (yesturday) and he was being really weird and just talked about all the girls he thinks are hot. i saw him today (wed) and he was still being weird. he said that he doesn't think i love him anymore. i told him i love him very much but he just wouldn't beleive me. i asked him what i did to make him think i didn't love him and he couldn't answer it. i'm really affectionate with him so i don't understand. he says i have to prove that i love him and if i do then he won't leave me. I dont know what to do, i don't want to lose him. i told him that i think he doesn't love me but he said he did. how am i supposed to prove that i love him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maritosa +, writes (24 July 2008):
maritosa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice.
I told him that i think he has the problem and that really it's him that doesn't me but he just said 'women are so manipulitive' and that he does love me. he said that if he thinks i don't love him it makes him love me less.
he is very insecure and he get mad if i wear slightly revealing clothes and mention other men (which i rarely do unless he asks) I
A
female
reader, jessica_04  +, writes (23 July 2008):
Hi, well you said that he was acting weird because he was telling you how he thinks some girls were hot. How did you react to what he sayd? maybe he tought your reaction was going to be really strong like causing you to being very jeleous, thats one thing some guys do to fool around just to see how you react. Maybe thats how hes getting this idea that you dont love him. Try prooving his toughts wrong, call him and tell him sweet things, try making him believe you when you say you love him, oh and that reminds me... tell em` how much he means to you, how much you care and love him!
GOOD LUCK!!!!=]
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Wow, this guy is not okay. 1st he tells you he thinks other girls are hot, then he THREATENS to leave you if you don't prove your love?! Are you kidding?! Sounds like he has laid out the gameboard and wants you to play. There is an issue going on with him (not you) that he isnt telling you about. He may not be cheating or have an intrest in someone else but there is definetly something wrong with him. You should be the adult in this situation, tell him you don't appreciate him threating you, and he needs to cut the bull and tell you whats wrong, really. Open up lines of communication, and find out why he suddenly feels a lack of love from you. Has someting happened a long time ago that made him upset that he has been holding on to all this time? You do love him, I can tell, but if you want to know whats really going on, don't join him in this game he is trying to play. Talk to him. Good luck, I hope the best for the pair of you.
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Hi hun
Tough situation for two reasons. You know something is wrong and the fact that your boyfriend has gone into his shell and will not talk to you is the second thing.
For whatever reason he seems that he is pulling away from you right now. I do not think it is fair that he is making you shoulder the blame..ie you do not love him enough. He wants you to jump through hoops of fire to prove you love him.
How physical is this relationship? I am perhaps getting the sense that he may want you to go a step further to 'prove your love'. It would seem to me that there is something going on, perhaps he has met someone else or he may not want to be serious right now...it is kind of understandable if he is the same age as you hun.
I do not want to sound like a drag here...but having to prove your love to anyone at your age may not be the best place to be hun. You should be holding the reins in your life and having fun with people who appreciate you for just who you are.
In summary, you should not feel you have to prove yourself and this is not the guy for you if he is putting forth those demands. Back off a bit and see what he does but do not be sitting around waiting for him. This will hurt for sure but you will have your dignity. He may come back to you or you may not but...I hate to sound cliched..at your age..there will be other guys.
Take care hun and keep us posted
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): Hi there,you shouldn't have to prove anything.my ex once did the same and it turned out he was a lying cheating scum bag.men use a clever trick called reverse physcology - they make you feel that you are the problem in the relationship when deep down it is them. he questions your love for him because he is questioning his own love. he is mentioning girls because he wants you to think that your not hot enough.men believe that if they make you feel bad about yourself you will have a lower confidence so that you will not go out and meet anyone.you should suggest that he takes you out on a hot date to rekindle your flame - if he says no then ditch him - if he ain't willing to spend time and a little cash on hte woman he loves then he ain't worth a second of your time.you sound as if your confidence is low - so you go out in sexy clothing and lads will look trust me - then your bf will be crawling back for more.never be the lower pawn in the relationship - always have the upper hand - keep him on his toes by mentioning other lads (give him a taste of his own medicine) anything men can do - woman can do ten times better.Hola Sister's!!! We will rule the world woohoo!!Hope i've helped!!! xxx
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