A
female
age
36-40,
*ovelyDove
writes:Hi guys i am new to this so any help would be great!My fiance is the only guy I have ever been completely honest with about EVERYTHING, I have had relationships in the past were I have lied and cheated, but I love him so much I feel like I should be 100% honest with him. He said he will be nothing but honesty with me...until recently I found out that he still talks to his ex girlfriend...he has told me that he hates her and he doesn't talk to her anymore but he emails her asking her who she is going out and who she talks to it seems he still cares about her! I talked to him about it and he blocked her email but I still feel like if I can't trust himShould I still trust him?Why would he still talk to her?-Thanks
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female
reader, LovelyDove +, writes (4 February 2008):
LovelyDove is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey guys thanks for all your help it helped me tons!
so I sat down and talked to him I told him how I felt about it and I asked him why did he do it and why he couldn't just tell me. Well he started crying because he said he was an idiot for doing it and that he doesn't know why he did it an he went on for a while about it...at first I wasn't going to hear any of it but he asked me to give him another chance and I did...he even said if he messes up again he will personally take me back home (since I moved cities to live with him)
The whole situation still bothers me and I am really bad about throwing it at his face what he did...I know it may not be the best way to deal with things but that's how I handle it...So I guess we are better now, its still in the back of my mind, and it sad that now I feel better about lying to him! I know its wrong!
But thanks for everyones help i really appreciate it :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Well, for starters you mention that your fiance is the only guy you have ever been honest with and not cheated on. Does he know this?? Cause you should never tell a guy stuff like that. Firstly, you are giving him a big head and he will think he has you wrapped around his finger. And that's not good. And secondly, he can use that against you. Cause he can come back and say "well you've never been honest with guys before me so I thought you would betray me too" no matter how hard you try to convince him otherwise. And he can use that to justify his actions. And in any case, you should try to be honest with people whether you think you love them or not.
Anyways, no I don't think you can trust this guy. It sounds like he still has a thing for his ex. I mean he is asking her very personal questions and the only reason I can think of for asking her about who she is dating is because he is jealous. And the only reason a guy would be jealous is because he still cares about her. But I guess if he blocked her emails and plans to no longer contact her then I guess you could put this behind you. But yeah what he did was sketchy and of course it was wrong.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 Never trust anyone, trust only yourself. Today your friend, tomorrow your enemies.What you said can be used against you .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Disappointing isn't it. Now you know what its like when the shoes on the other foot.
Enjoy the ride.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): Hi Hunny,
If he told you he didnt like her and was not speaking with her, My question would be why say all that then do this behind your back, There is no need if you have been honest with each other. Hunny you need to sit and talk with him, maybe she got intouch first she may have hurt him badly and he spoke those words out of anger. So speak with him without arguments and sort it out as to why he felt he couldnt confide in you that he was still in contact, Explain how this has made you feel and there may be a simple reason for it that can put your mind at rest. You need to no to be able to trust his word or when he says something to you you will doubt it even though he is probably telling the truth. Get it all out in the open and hopefully things will sort themselves out for you sweetheart. TAKE CARE LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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