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female
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anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend have been together for about 17 months and things are just so odd! when we first got together everything between us was fantastic and then things got hard (i dont really want to say what happened but there was some serious issues which only just got resolved recently). anyway in january my boyf said he wasnt in love with me anymore, that he didnt feel there was a spark. the thing i suffer from depression and i felt really low, so i did some pretty demeaing things like telling him it didnt matter if he didnt love me, i would stay with him anyway. i seriously gave him everything he wanted, space, cooking, cleaning and dressing up and letting him 'show me off' to his friends! anyway, a few weeks later he said he really couldnt do it anymore and broke up with me for what he said was 'for good'. i went wacko and begged and pleaded for about a week and then i thought 'hang on a minute, i deserve more than this' so i asked to meet up so i could ask him a few questions and then i wanted to leave. however, when we met up we had a really good time and he started saying how much he really cared for me and realised he loved me. but he was still saying he wasnt sure he 'was in love with me'. we met up a few times after that and he said he was in love with me and he realises that now..blah blah.i thought this was what i wanted but now when im not with him i cant seem to fogive him for all the hurt he put me through. when were together its great but i think my feelings about him might have changed now! i think i deserve some one who doesnt have to think aboout whether they love me! i do love him. help im confused!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006): the thing is i do love him and its so hard to imagine not being with him. he tells me all the time that he loves me and how lucky he is but i just cant seem to believe him! llast nite he came round mine to stay and we had a great time, but in the morning i read his fone msgs - i know, not the best idea. but he was telling 1 of his girl friends how he had this crush on this really old yoga instructer. i got so upset, i juts felt that all his friends must laugh at me bcuz of this. i told him i read it and he says that he loves me more than anything n that he was just joking. i think bcuz of everthing that hes put me through i just cant trust him, so i even get jealous of old yoga instructers! i sound like im moaning but im not - i love him loads but i dont think he gives the same back to me even though now he says he loves me n stuff. do u think theres any way of us getting back what we once had? also im quite good looking (plz dont think im being vain) and my boyfriend is not so good looking, even his friends call me premiership n him coca cola cup! but now i have no confidence with men so i kno i wud struggle finding a new boyfriend when i used to be able to flirt and chat to great guys all the time. it feels like my boyfriend has completely knocked the stuffing out of me!
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (3 April 2006):
 You seem to be a very smart lady to have figured out what many women can't figure out for the life of them.
You do deserve someone who doesn't have to 'think' about whether they love you. You deserve someone who doesn't play mind games of taking away their love and then giving it back when it suits them.
It doesn't sound like you need advice though, sounds like you have already figured out that he is not treating you like you should be treated.
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