A
female
age
36-40,
*ibesluv
writes:My ex and I have been exes since early winter, but we were still seeing each other when I got pregnant in January. Our baby was stillborn 2 weeks ago, and I think that brought us a little closer because we were having some really ROUGH times at the beginning of the pregnancy. The thing is I cheated/had an affair last year but I want him back. He said he forgave me, but I wasn't sure because he couldn't even be around me, let alone look at me at the beginning of the pregnancy.I asked him a few days ago exactly what he felt about me. I just wanted him to be honest because that way we can go about out seperate lives, even though he has a 2 year old I've known since he was 1. (I ADORE him.) After trying to change the subject and laughing I brought it back up and told him that he didn't have to sugarcoat anything, that I'd understand, I just wanted the truth. He said that he couldn't let me in right now. That he can't tell me yet. I don't understand. Why can't he just tell me he doesn't want me? Of course I'd be hurt, but I'd rather hurt now, than to invest anymore feelings in him. I know it's hard to open up to someone who broke your heart, but I believe deep down that he KNOWS what he feels. I just wish he'd tell me. Any ideas as to what he's thinking?All he says is that he does love me.
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female
reader, Renee okc +, writes (8 July 2009):
Why dont you know how he feels about you? You guy's share something that know one around you knows about but i cant blame him for being scared of getting hurt again and then the loss of a child on top of that is just to much to bare. give him time. it is ok for you to go on with your life and when he is ready he will come back, you need to concentrate on healing yourself so that you can move on with your life and he needs to do the same. just give it time and before you know it he will probably want to get back together. I am very sorry for your loss... be there for each other.
A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (8 July 2009):
He doesn't trust you. He doesn't want to "let you in" because last time he did that you trampled all over his heart. He will have to be able to trust you again, and this will take a lot of time and effort- if he is even willing to invest that time and effort in the first place. Basically the affair was all on you and now the ball is in his court as to where the relationship goes- let him make that choice without any unwanted pressure. Sorry to hear about your baby, that is sad.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (8 July 2009):
 I think that he cares for you A LOT, but instead of telling you his deep feelings, he chooses not to, because he is afraid that you will hurt him all over again.
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