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female
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anonymous
writes:I just can't seem to get out of this depression. In January my boyfriend and I of 3 years broke up. He had been distancing himself since November and I felt it but I didn't know what to do. He had been hanging out with this girl from work... whom I felt uncomfortable about, yet he continued to hang out with her. We live together and when we broke up it was still "in limbo" and he still lived here until early March. He would sometimes stay over at his parents, but I come to find he wasn't staying there when he said he was... he was with her. We all work in the same area so I see her often, I see him once in awhile. He's lied, cheated and I am so pissed and hurt and betrayed. He had this done to him with his first g/f so why would he do this to me? This girl he's with is a little psycho... apparently he didn't call her or text her for a whole day (b/c he was with me sometime in early March before I kicked him out) and she went completely off the handle over it. Ultimately what I want is for him to say "Damn, I'm an idiot!" So whats the best way to handle myself in this situation. Part of me wants to confront them both...tell her the whole story instead of his...which I'm sure she has no idea that 2 months into their relationship he was still living with me. His mom still calls and talks to me... she said he won't bring this girl home with him because "shes not the bring home to mom type". Even his mom is upset with his actions. He left me with paying the full rent, taking care of our animals to go run off with this girl! Everything he said and did up to this point negates everything he's done in the past few months. I don't want him back, however I do want an apology and well I hope it all blows up in their faces really. What is the best course of actions when it comes to these things?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks I needed to hear that. What gets me is he's practically moved in with her... His mom said he's only been staying at their house about 3-4 days a week! He left our animals (and me with the bills and responsibility of taking care of them) he loved them and took care of them. Honestly this change is so sudden it's like a psychotic breakdown or something. We had our problems in the relationship but I didnt think he was capable of this. Trust me I don't want him back... I would never trust him... I just hate lying awake at night imagining them together. I just found out about him satuing with her all the time a few days ago but I knew something was up for months... It makes me sick. Have any guys out there done something similar? And what was going through youre head? Did you regret it later?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): this girl must be exciting him but excitment dont last forever as he will soon learn,only then will it hit home and he`ll realise what a wonderful girl he walked out on and for what a little more excitment that wasnt worth your relationship,forget the revenge bit as you said this girl is a bit pyscho and you may find yourself in a situation if you confront them both,he`s got more than he bargained for with this one,just try to move on and be glad your out of his life as if he can dump on you after 3yrs he can do anything.
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reader, ChiRaven +, writes (11 April 2007):
 First, forget your need for revenge or even an apology from him. He's a self centered person who is never likely to grow up. In the end, he'll probably leave this other girl just as he left you, but for heaven's sake DON'T you be dumb enough to take him back with you after what he pulled this time.
Just leave it alone.
If you can't manage the rent on your own, see about trying to get a roommate (another woman, by preference, unless you've got another guy you're just ready to move in with) to split things with. and get on with your life. This really IS life after nasty breakups. And you're going to prove it.
You've been burned and burned bad. That's unfortunate, but right now there's not much you can really do except get on with your life and be the one in this trio who shows some class. Ignore them.
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