A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i met my now husband when i was 15 and now been with him 13yrs.we have got threw many hard times together.ova the past few years though weve grown apart,i still love him with all my heart.the problem is that he has become very distant,possibly cheated and doesnt seem to care anymore.im certain he is only with me because we hava mortgage together and because we hava 5yr old son.he came from a broken family and it affected him badly so i think his jus staying for his son.he has become cold towards me and our sexlife is non existant.i have suffered with very deep depression for the past couple of yrs and put on aload of weight.everytime i seem to feel better my husband always puts me down or lays into me to make me feel low again.i have been seeing a counceller and was on medication and seeing a mental health worker but i still feel down and cry most days.Due to all this half of me desperatly wants to leave my husband but the other half of me dont.ive neva been on my own b4 as i was living with my husband since i was 15,my family live ova 200miles away and i dont speak to them much and i have no close friends as im new to the area.the love i feel for my husband is turning to hate and anger.when he is putting me down/shouting at me i feel an overwhelming urge to want to punch him in the face,ive neva felt this way b4 until about a week ago.it's getting to the point that im either going to hurt him or myself,just to end the pain he makes me feel everyday with his hurtful comments/shouting.the thing is i just cant seem to leave cause i do love him.am i mad? will all my love for him turn to anger eventually?
View related questions:
puts me down Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 HELLO
Im sorry about everything you are going through. i think DVI is onto something maybe its time you do something about this marriage because your situation has come to a point that if it doesnt stop you are gonna go crazy with it. so the choice is yours its either you stand-up to your husband or you let him bully you, where is he when you are going through this counsiling sessions? do you think he cares if he is not there to hold your hand? he grew up in a broken family and now he is giving his son the same legacy he has got. staying because of his son should worth it do you think this is worth it? your health is deteriorating and yet you sit and wait for him to change do you think that will ever happen? he knows how much you feel, your current health status speaks for itself so why do you have to wait for him to notice you while you are suffering all alone in the process?
get up and make new friends moving to a new place doesnt mean you must spend years there before you can make friends. go out with a co-worker, get involved in community upliftment programmes do something with your hands, get a new hobby the more you sit and wait on him believe me its like slow death. the aggressive anger you feel inside is the pain you are bottling-up inside you and the day you explode lets hope you will not end up with regrets because of the consequences that might follow the explosion.
Leave the bastard and build something new for you and your son. good luck
Jovial
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 Negativity isn't something that you should accept in your life. If you're not happy, start looking at apartments, based upon what you can afford. From here, if you're really that unhappy, get out of the relationship, and find something that will make you happy. You need to voice your concerns with him, because in the end, you need to put your child first.
DV1
...............................
|
