A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my fiance and I have been together for almost 3 yrs.. i am 21 and he is 28.lately he doesnt kiss me and doesnt want sex as much.. we use to have sex about 3-5 times a week and are now down to 1 a week if im lucky!i understand that he is sometimes tired as so am I.. we both go to the gym about 4-5 times a week for about 2-3hrs... i am tired and i understand that so is he.. but i still want him, but he doesnt seem to want to me..when ever i try to kiss him or try to spice things up he always tells me im tired or will just push me away and he tells me not to be so desperate. we work together, live together, go to the gym together and go out together, have joint bank accounts, have family plan cellphone line.. believe me when i say for a fact i know that he is not cheating on me.. but i just do not understand him.. is this normal??
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): It sounds like your boyfriend has directly told you that he will not change, so there isn't really any point in trying to change a person who doesn't want to change. If you can live with that the rest of your life, go for it. If not, don't feel bad. You deserve to be happy. He should compromise for you but if he doesn't, then that's his choice. If he is telling you to leave if you don't like it, then maybe you should consider it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Your boyfriend sounds passive aggressive. I think he will break up with you and if I were in your shoes I would tell him you're not happy living this way and you think he either needs to poop or get off the pot. He needs to get real with you and soon or you need your own place so you can date others
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Your boyfriend sounds passive aggressive. I think he will break up with you and if I were in your shoes I would tell him you're not happy living this way and you think he either needs to poop or get off the pot. He needs to get real with you and soon or you need your own place so you can date others
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Your boyfriend sounds passive aggressive. I think he will break up with you and if I were in your shoes I would tell him you're not happy living this way and you think he either needs to poop or get off the pot. He needs to get real with you and soon or you need your own place so you can date others
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all!!ive tried the oils, the shower, slipping into something sexy.. i do think that we do spend alot of time together.. but he has never said anything about that bothering him.. I will try and talk about doing a routine to go out with friends idea and see what he thinks.. ok.. the times we do have sex its a routine.. it usually is me providing oral sex and then me riding him for about 1-2 mins.. he is satisfied.. stays there for a little so i wont complain and then tells me that i have to stop cause he has to go to the bathroom.. during the whole 10-15mins I do everything!!!! and on a 1-10 level of satisfaction.. i end up at 6 if im lucky!he wont french kiss me only pop.. he wont do much but play with my breast, cause i move his hands..it did not use to be like this ( well during our relationship it had happened a couple of times but it was not a routine)and it has become a routine.. I have tried speaking with him, and telling him how he makes me feel and why he doesnt want to satisfy me like i do to him.. and he tells me "THAT IS HOW I AM.. IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY THAN GO WITH SOMEONE ELSE THAT WILL SATISFY YOU.. YOUR ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON IVE BEEN WITH THAT COMPLAINS ABOUT IT!.. IM 28 YEARS OLD AND IM NOT GOING TO CHANGE" I TELL HIM I DONT UNDERSTAND BECAUSE IT WASNT LIKE THAT BEFORE BUT HE JUST SAY THE SAME THING...IVE BROUGHT UP THIS CONVERSATION UP SEVERAL OF TIMES.. AND EVERYTIME I DO HE SAYS - AGAIN THE SAME TOPIC? IVE ALREADY TOLD YOU.. THAT IS WHO I AM!!what went wrong? HOW CAN I FIX IT? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.. AND I KNOW HE LOVES ME TOO.. WHY WOULD HE BE WITH ME IF HE DIDNT??? ( sorry about caps.. im not yelling, the system at my job only accpets caps and i realized after i wrote.. and i cant write again.. my boss is comming!!)
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A
female
reader, Trish123  +, writes (16 April 2009):
 It does sound like everything is all planned out.... all organised with no suprises... especially if you guys spend so much time together.
Have you considered doing something out of the ordinary? Something like calling him into the bathroom when you're in the shower? Buying some new raunchy underwear? Greeting him as he comes through the door one ay wearing nothing but one of his ties? Maybe even something like some eatable body cream.... scented body massage oil..... it may be just that you add a bit more sparkle into things.. it's easy to get into a routine.... always go for sex at bed time? Why not try morning sex... during the day.... may work?
It maybe that he's just tired... and needs you to give him a bit of space.... run him a bath.... make a candle lit diner.... let me know what you think
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