A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know who is more selfish, me or the guy I'm seeing. We both just broke up with other people about 3 months ago. I was with my ex for 3 years. He was with his for almost a year and a half. Yet, all he does is talk about not wanting to hurt his ex anymore, or move on too quickly. But, he'll say he's falling for me, he cares, he looks and touches me with such passion(not even in a sexual way). I know he likes me. He once asked me out when I first met my ex but I didn't want to date 2 guys at once so I declined. Now that we are both single and still like each other, I thought it might not be under the best circumstances but it must be a sign. The thing is, I got mad that when we were talking about us, he brings her up! I get even more mad that he's the one that initiates conversations about us being in love, etc. I even said, hey maybe we need to just stay friends while you transition, and process this breakup. Mind you, I was engaged to my ex and that was hard too. So, this new guy calls whenever, doesn't want to invite me to his place yet because his ex lives close, or will drive to my house like a lunatic when I pull back completely. I am getting so frustrated that he has no clue what he wants! Then, its like he is not being supportive of my breakup. Shouldn't I be the one having a harder time moving on?? He didn't even call all weekend which is so uncool. I've tried talking to other guys which ppl tell me are way better looking but its not that. I am really into this guy but I'm not going to be his doormat either. He has pushed his way into my life but I have never met any of his friends or family. For ex, ill tell him to wait for me in my driveway but he'll park and come into my house. He met like half my family that way! But he's not ready to invite me over? What should I do? Should I just drop him like a bad habit? Please help!
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female
reader, Mrs. Melone +, writes (18 July 2011):
You have not met family or friends and he doesn't invite you over...he is hiding something. Either she is not an ex or she is still living with him, something to that nature. I would opt for the bad habit solution. Although he might have the 'hots' for you he is showing some classic 'I need thearapy' signs. I suggest reading He's Just Not That Into You and watching the movie. The book goes into great detail than the movie.
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