A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, i and my colleague were good friends for nearly 1 year.later it turned to love.we both started liking each other.but he proposed me recently.even i said ok...we were close for nearly 1 week.but on feb 13 he told me that his mother wont agree for marriage so we will just drop it.he also said that he likes one of his aunts daughter and he will marry her.and he told me not to call him any more.even if he sees me in office he is not speaking to me and he moves from that place very soon. but i really love him....what to do .i want to speak to him... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, NT +, writes (28 February 2009):
Dear , i know what u r going through...Its kind of strange that he proposed and then left ..... knowing his mother's nature, he should not have gone to this extent....but the fact is he did this!! may be he had talked to u abt his mom's nature earlier...if that is the case its understandable......may be after u said yes, he would have thought what next??how he will tell his parents and stuffs!!!At this time i will just suggest you to be calm.....have a one to one chat with him...no telephonic conversations......it should be face to face...ask him whats the problem and try to sort it out at your level....don't be aggresive........be cool.......have faith...God bless...
A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (28 February 2009):
 If you live in India:
If you can't change his mother's opinion, or make him change hers ... go to your mother and ask her to find you a husband
(a) who is better looking and richer than your colleague/lover, and
(b) whose parents are not only richer than you but will also listen to you, and
(c) you and your new husband move overseas and establish a prosperous life of your own
I have seen many Hindu Indian families - even those living outside India - who strictly adhere to arranged marriages, to the point of "importing" brides/grooms in their efforts to maintain their culture. Even many highly educated Hindu-Indian families follow this tradition (with many ending up either resigned to their fate, or eventually fall in love with each other, or "accept" each other's affairs as long as it is not done in public).
Having said that, I hope you will be able to find a new love soon ... as this one seems like he is already moving on ..
Cat
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): Did you have sex with him?Based on the answer I will definitely help you.Which state are you from?That can be a big help as well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): Well that's difficult. You live in India where stuff like this happen every day. Your society is the biggest obstacle. A man who listens so intently on the words of his mother can cause you a lot of trouble in the future, especially when the society controls how people should be.
There are four ways you can go about this:
A) Assertively/Aggressively confront him and force him to listen and speak with you.
B) Confront his mom directly.
C) Kidnap him, go to the USA or Canada, even the UK if the plane ticket costs are cheaper.
D) Walk away heart broken.
I wouldn't really suggest C though, but it can be a 'romantic' idea.
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