A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi, my bf and i have been together for 2 years, i am 20 and he is 25, the problem is he keeps lying to me about his porn viewing.the other day i had a day off from work so we could spend the day together, anyway we spent the morning together then after that we were going to go visit some friends but he said he wanted to go home and work on his homework as he is studying, so i though this was important and let him and i went out, when i got home i relised he had not been doing homework but looking at porn. i was really hurt that he would lye to me and not want to spend time with me but watching more attractive females. this has been an on going problem for about 10months now, i have tried to talk to him about the problem in a calm way but he just calls me names and says i have issues, or says he doesnt have any or he doesnt watch it, even though i caugh him up till 4am wanking off to porn once, but he really said he was going to be doing something else. im really hurt and my self confidence is suffering from this, its making me very sick too and im lucky to sleep 3 hours a night because im constantly trying to work out what is wrong with me, i need to talk to him about it, yet im so scared it will just turn out like the last time i tried to talk to him, can someone give me some advice on what i can do? i need him to see what its doing to me, i can't go on living the way i do, im not eatting and when i do i end up being sick, im obsessed with my body and weight. at the end of the day i hate having to go home as im worried im going to find evdence of him spending the day getting off at other more attractive younger females, i have also noticed our sex life has been low,he says its because of his medication but if he has no sex drive how can he get off to porn atleast once a week? please help.
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confidence, porn, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): This is 'easily' solveable. If you are uncomfortable with him looking at porn and he isn't doing anything to change his habits, you can leave him and find someone else more suited to your needs/wants.
As for looking for what's wrong with you - it's not really about that. It's mainly an external thing you have no control over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2006): No It wont stop him because he clearly wants to look at OTHER naked women than yourself. Its totally disrespectful to you and every other woman he knows. Most of the women in porn were sexually abused as children and sadly make the choice to participate in this cause their in no sane state of mind to make a healthy decsion. Sadly most men are happy to take advantage of them for their own sexual kicks with no thought for them or other women who all (as a group pay the price for porn) in the way we are treated everyday.
Either act as a lot of sad brainwashed women do and put up with it or act with self respect and ditch him...who want a guy who needs to look at other naked women anyway
Remember ladies men will treat us exactly how we teach the to treat us....Its up to us sadly cause unfortunately most men will try it on unless they start ending up alone with mags, lube and not a woman in sight who would touch them cause they use porn
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