A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf broke up with me, but now he wants me back. He showed no interest in me for so long during our relationship and kept pushing me away etc, no matter how hard I tried to be a good gf to him. Then he broke it off and didnt speak to me again. And now that I am moving on and have been going on a few dates, suddenly hes appears!! He is saying how much he misses me and wants me back now. But I think that if it wasnt for me dating new people, he wouldnt be saying this. I feel like he just wants what he cant have.Why is he doing this to me? Hes making my life so painful. I was actually doing fine without him but as soon as he contacts me, I feel like im being sucked back into it all again and I dont want to be because I know he will hrut me. He always says sorry but as soon as he feels 'safe' he goes back to his old ways.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): I have experienced the exact same with an ex. First time I dated someone new he was suddenly giving me all this attention and wanted me back, even cried and begged for me to take him back and pushed all my guilt buttons saying "dont you love me" and so on. I was stupid enough to actually dump the new guy and try to make it work again with my old bf. It didnt work out, and he didnt really give me much attention after we broke it off again.
Then I started dating someone new again and indeed, there my ex was, giving me all this attention again, writing me love poems, giving me gifts and so on. This time I called him and said it was best if we cut all contact and asked him not to speak to me again. It's been great ever since, he doesnt stalk me any more, and I can enjoy my new bf without my ex in the picture.
I advice you to do the same: cut contact with your ex until maybe at some point you two are able to talk without him bugging in on your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Stop and think here. When you dated this guy, what was the reality? He hurt you..right. Clearly, you know what to 'expect' if you go back to dating this ex bf of yours, if you think he'll hurt you again. You need to reach into yourself, be strong, protect yourself and and lose complete contact, as your feelings are still engaged here. And that's what he's banking on...the fact that he still holds some kind of power over you. So as long as you hang onto those grand memories of him and forget what he did to cause you pain..you will not be able to reject all his advances. So please, remember who 'he really is' and use that to empower yourself with strength to resist. So my suggestion....Ignore him..ask him to not contact you anymore and please, don't think that his advances are flattering. Because they are not. It's an 'ownership' thing he's got going on there. He can have you but no one else can. Not a healthy way to think. If he's hurt you before, than you definitely know what to expect if you allow him to manipulate and play with your feelings, like this.. Tell him to get lost. And go out and date guys that will treat you well. Good luck and be strong.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): people act funny when anything that used to be theirs now it's someone elses. they dont know what they got till they lose it, dont waste your time with this guy, specially if you found someone better than him
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