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He no longer wants to have sex! I can't fix this without him...

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *ehatesme writes:

My husband doesnt want to have sex with me anymore. Now it's gotten to the point that I don't even like to try because I feel like I'm forcing him. He makes up every excuse in the book, from being too tired to being stressed out to just plain "I'm getting older". All of that would be understandable BUT he masturbates every morning. He's told me before that he's too tired for sex and then I've happen to stumble upon some porn or something that showed that he was too tired because he had JUST masturbated. I've always told him I love to be woken up to sex, instead he goes straight to the computer. I've always just acted like I was still asleep or just gone back to sleep until he wakes me up so I wouldn't embarrass him, but I finally couldn't take it anymore and I said something about it. It made him mad, and he said it wasn't my business (after trying to lie and deny it, which he always does). He won't talk about it. In fact, he won't talk about anything anymore. he just gets mad when I try to talk to him about being worried about us, or that I feel like he doesn't want me. I've always thought that porn is for occasional use, or for guys who wish they had a younger/hotter wife, but he's 40 and I'm only 23, so I would hope that's not it. I've suggested things to spice up the bedroom but he just says "What, is our sex life that boring?" My thoughts are, what sex life. It's gotten to the point that he either spends an hour trying to get me off and then finishes in just a minute or two or he just, well, finishes in just a minute or two. I love our sex, regardless of whether or not I have an orgasm or how long it lasts, but when there is no passion or emotion behind it, it definately kills it. Someone please help, what is going on? I think he's done with me, but whne I approach the subject he just turns it around and says "It sounds like you just want to break up" or "It sounds like you've met someone else" I don't even know how he can get that from me asking what's wrong with us. He's just mad all the time, and would rather have sex with himself and the hot porn girls than me. What can I do? Are we done? I love him, but I can't fix this without him, especially if he won't be honest or tell me what's going on.

View related questions: orgasm, porn, sex life

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009):

Throwing the computer out won't help - they will just go and rent porn movies. I have the same problem with my husband - I don't think that they will ever stop. I have been lied and been made a fool of so many times in the last 9 years. I am seriously considering divorcing him. I wish you better luck and that you can retain a healthy, happy marriage.

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