A
female
age
30-35,
*bbiestar
writes:I had the biggest crush on a guy from my university for about a year. One day, I met with him at the library and he was sitting with some of his friends studying. I sat next to him and one of his friends stood up and started talking to me. I thought it was so weird. Later, when I would bump into this new friend on the hallways he would always stop and talk to me, he was so nice. One of my friends decided to gather a team to run for the schools Students Council and this guy was there too! So we started to all hang out everyday after school and we had our own group chat on whatsapp, so this guy had my number. He added me on every social network and he would talk to me on whatsapp and flirt with me all the time. The day of the elections he wrote to me that he was at the movies and I asked him who he had gone with. He said he had taken his girlfriend and I felt so used. I definitely would not like my boyfriend to be talking and flirting with another girl the way he was doing so with me. So I took my distance and then every time we would see each other and talk we would talk about how he was so sick of his girlfriend and how unhappy he was. I felt so bad because I didn't want to be the reason these two broke up, I didn't even like the guy in the first place, so I would always tell him to make things right with her. He said she was always mad because he was too busy to spend time with her, and I asked him why he wasn't busy to spend all his spare time with me. He said he didn't even want to make time for his girlfriend because she would be mad anyway. A few weeks later, she broke up with him. I'm sure she decided to do it because he was being so indifferent and cold with her and I felt so bad. We would still hang out at school and talk all the time, but I my crush on my friend was still pretty strong and I wasn't interested in this boy. At the end of the semester there was a party at a nightclub and we all went. In the middle of the night I realized my crush was hitting on some other girl and I got so disappointed that I decided to give this guy a chance. He was such a nice guy, so sweet, and so incredibly handsome. We would spend every waking moment together. We were inseparable. We would talk all the time. I liked him so incredibly much! We studied for our finals together, but I finished before him. When he was done with his he asked me out to a nightclub with his friends to celebrate and I decided I didn't want to go. He asked me to his friends' Christmas dinner and my friends' was the same day so I didn't go. We never actually got to go out on a real date, except for little coffee runs at school. Then came Christmas break and he went on holiday with his family and came back until January, a week before school started. He stopped talking to me the sweet way he did before. He would take ages to answer back and he'd always cut the conversation short. It was so frustrating. I was so scared. I felt like I was losing the only guy I've ever liked that much, and I was so scared he decided to get back together with his ex. In January we went out with his guy friends and my girlfriends, and he tried to kiss me and I didn't let him, because, firstly, if I were her I would have liked my boyfriend to be kissing some other girl if we had just broken up, and secondly, in my head I was so sure he would get back together with that girl. After that night, he talked to me less and less until he stopped, and I didn't want to be the one to have to go look for him so I didn't either. The night before school started, I saw he had liked 16 of his ex's photos on Instagram and I just knew. He would talk to me at school like before but I felt so mad and so sad I think I might have been a little rude. A few weeks later, I found out he had gotten back together with his ex and I was devastated, but a part of me was determined to get him back. I never really knew how.That was two years ago and every single day until today I think about him. I miss him. I've stalked his girlfriend to the point of knowing her address, every single name of her extended family and friends, her hobbies, what she did this past weekend... Everything! I feel so pathetic, I wish I was her. The thing is I feel she and I are very alike, and it hurts me so much that he made the choice to be with her because he thought she's better. It's excruciating to see him at school everyday and not have him with me anymore. I have tried dating other guys but I always end up dumping them because they don't even measure up to him. I've gone through every phase: I'd thought they would break up again and come back. I'd decided I was going to get him back. I'd thought she would dump him. I'd though I would meet someone else and be okay. I'd thought I'd be okay on my own. But I'm back to missing him like crazy and what's even crazier and more pathetic is that he didn't even was my boyfriend, we didn't even go out! Why can't I get over him?Do you have any advice for me to do something to get this over with?I know it would be so unfair and mean from my part, but I would love to get him back!
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broke up, christmas, crush, flirt, get back together, her ex, his ex, kissing, on holiday, stalking, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): He didn't think she was better, you just gave him the wrong signals, I mean declining his requests to hang out, fair enough you were busy but then rejecting a kiss from him on a night out quite right he took that as you weren't interested! Guys aren't mindreaders. Move on and next time if you like someone go for it and stop thinking about other people
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