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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a real issue with a manager guy who is based in another department at work. I never get to see him that much but when I do, I really get the impression that he quite enjoys engaging in quite intense conversation. The fact we seem to click means we shortcut through pleasantries to quite disclosive things (not sexual but more emotionally intimate). Unfortunatly that makes me feel like I have a connection with him. He's also quite a lot older than me, I would hazard a guess he is married. We are due to move teams early next year and he will be based in the same office (but not be my manager). On the one hand I'm excited on the other I think it will drive me nuts. Any advice to push a resolution on this matter? I don't care if its arch manipulation or common avoidance....please advise.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 August 2005):
 The reason that it's driving you nuts is that you don't know anything. You're guessing and second-guessing your guesses.
You don't even know if he's married? Heaven sakes, woman. I'd suggest that, far from being emotionally intimate, you've been having very superficial conversations with him.
You could try being direct with him.
"We seem to have such good talks that I think we might have a lot in common. Would you like to go out with me some time?"
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