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female
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*tpie06
writes: I met this guy about 3 months ago and we immediatly hit it off, we went out at least 3 times a week and he told me how strongly he felt about me and about our relationship..a few weeks later I got a call from a girl sayin that she is his ex of 3 years and that they had just got back together. She is in the army and had come down to visit for 2 weeks. (He told me he was going 2 visit a friend for 2 weeks) so when I got this call, I was confused because he told me that they were over with. So when I confronted him about it he was so shocked that she called me and that he'd been caught. I told him that I wasn't mad being that we had just met but he should've been more honest with me. He said that she was pressuring him into the relationship and that he wanted to be with me. He let her know that we were gonna be together and she left(mad of course) so ok 3 months down the line he says he has no contact with her..until 1 day out of nowhere she calls him while I'm @ his house and he decides to tell me that they've been talking again..I'm like o...k what's ur point. He looks @ me with this "I dunno what to do" face while holdin the phone up to his ear and says "me and ** are thinkin about getting back together" imagine the shock n hurt I felt. I quicky left without a word. Weeks after, he tells me that he really is in love with me and that she was the only 1 that coulda jeopordized our relationship. He still calls me everyday about 3-4 times a day and says that he wishes he could "freeze" me and come back for me if they didn't work out. He still wants to hang out with me and often says that I am the perfect girl and that he would want to be with me. He also says that him n her are not officially back together. I still feel very strongly for him, but I never let him know. When we speak I don't even mention anything about wanting to be with him. He seems so confused and I feel dumb for even being friends with him. What to do? Help!
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (22 June 2006):
 Good luck little one, it will hurt to begin, but you will learn to deal with that and become stronger. Someone else will be waiting out there for you, but have some time to yourself and go out and have some fun.
Take care x
A
female
reader, Qtpie06 +, writes (22 June 2006):
Qtpie06 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your words of wisdom..I have to find the strength to end all communication with him. Its like I know I shouldn't have as much (if any) contact with him @ all, but my feelings get in the way. In my mind I know what I should do,but in my heart its like I'm still hanging on, wanting to be back with him. It sucks! I'm on an emtional rollercoaster and I'm trying hard to pretend everythings cool by not letting him I still have feelings 4 him.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (22 June 2006):
I wouldnt hang around for him to make up his mind. If he truly loved you then he wouldnt have gone back to her. he knows whats shes like... Has she got some sort of hold over him ? If he doesnt want the relationship then he has to tell her. For all you know this could go on for months.. are you happy to sit there and be second best, just in case he comes back ? He either wants you or her, do yourself a favour and tell him that he either gets with you or your moving on.. You cant put your life on hold for something that might not happen, you are in affect a bit on the side at the moment, a back up plan case things go wrong! I for one would not allow someone to treat me that way, its all or nothing! Imagine how hurt you will be if he never leaves her, you wait around all that time when you could have been out looking for a free man!
Take care x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2006): A agree with all the aunts on this page, dear. I am so sorry this man has done this to you. You don't want to feel like "second rate" and no one can be with another until they have fully recovered from what went on before anyway. He had never fully recovered from his ex gf. It is best to keep your dignity, let him go back to her and you need to move on and finds a good, decent guy who'll make you his 'number one' girl. If he goes back to her, it's highly likely over time, the same issues that broke them up in the first place, will rear it's ugly head. But that will be his choice. Some people are emotionally blind and self-destructive. This is your bf...do you really want him, knowing he's this unpredictable and immature. Say goodbye and let him go, no more contact. Keep your head high and trust that someone else better for you will come along. Believe me, that is the healthy choice
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female
reader, daughteroflilith +, writes (21 June 2006):
I know this is gonna be harsh, but sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind. Look at it this way he's saying your perfect but obviously if he is willing to jeopardise you for her then he must like her better. He must think she is more perfect than you that she is the only person in the whole world who could make him drop you. You have to ask yourself is second best enough for you? And is what he is saying true or would other women make him question your relationship if they were hot enough? ask yourself also could you trust him now? What i say is detatch yourself and use him for what he seems good for. don't allow yourself to become emotional, keep it cool and just have fun with him, but don't allow him to make you his 'bit on the side', he should be yours baby! enjoy life how many hot guys out there could you be having at the same time that he is doing all of this to you. Have the hot guys and the fun with him until both of you have made your mind up what you want to do.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2006): Its no good being second best. Move on.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 June 2006):
 If you can settle for being his "plan B" then wait around for him, but I for one would cut him totally loose and get busy with my own life. Good luck whichever you decide.
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