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age
41-50,
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writes: I have been dating this guy, who is four years younger than me for two years. We had agreed on marriage, and eventually set on to start the traditional part of negotiating bride price. This was after really trying to “convince” him. We are set to marry after one and half years from now, but am so negative about the whole thing as he feels, (and indirectly says it, politely though) that it’s a privilege for me to marry him. He isn’t any special guy though, just that I love him. He is less educated than me and is far from being able to provide for his family according to my standard, but I don’t mind because am independent. He also has an embracing job which ladies of my status in my culture would not accept of their man. I had been suggesting marriage to him because I wanted to have kids whilst am still young. Now I have adopted a child and not in any hurry for anymore kids. Deep down I still want to marry him, but am so unenthusiastic about the whole thing cos of his attitude. Is such a man worth marrying anyway? If so, would it be okay to discuss my feelings with him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Savannahbronx  +, writes (14 December 2010):
There is noting worse then the feeling of the lack of love in a relationship. It sounds like your heart is keeping you there but your mind is tellimg u to hike up ur dress throw sum running shoes on and get the hell out of dodge. You are clearly a sart woman and you know what u want. What i think you should do is take some time apart with your child and just see if life is difff. If u miss him and if ur feelings have changed.your heart and yur mind will tell you . But i would not get married with those feelings inside. And yes you should talk to him about it. His reactions to your complaints and worries will let you and help you decide your next step if he even cares and what your relationship is really about. And how strong you love and bond is between each other.
Isnt it funny how easy it is to give advice but we cnt follow our own thoughts.
Best wishes. And good luck to you.
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