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female
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anonymous
writes: i was with this man for over 4 years and he was my first bf ever and the only person i have been with....even a kiss. at the moment i am 22 and he is 30. at two years into our relationship he cheated on me and i didnt wana give him a second chance. he wouldnt take no for an answer and wouldnt leave me alone claiming his undying love and how sorry he was. i gave him a second chance and things were good. we did fight a bit. we were together for over four years and 8 months ago he left me. at first he wouldnt leave me alone following me and giving me mixed msgs we would get back together. i kept bugging him in the last 2 weeks to give us a second chance. he turned around and said he dont love me anymore. he dont want to have any contact with me. he told me im his angel and that no one will ever know him or love him like me. why give that up is what i dont understand. he said he will never forget me.one week he told me of course he has feelings for me and then a week later he said he doesnt. is there anything i can do to save our relationship? i lov him so much it hurts. and i would do anything to be with him. is there anything i can do or move on?he told me if i be with someone else that it is 100% over between usafter saying he is going to cut contact he was online after he said he was blocking me but he couldnt see me coz i blocked him. then the next day his cousin was trying to call but i didnt answer coz i thought m,aybe she wanted to say to leave him alone or something. he has turned off his phone. since he said he was cutting contact i have not contacted him in any way. i dont know what i can doi have tryed that and when i had no contact with him at all he then turns up and follows me. i sent him a fruit basket and said i dont want things to end badly and good luck with life and take care. he rang my sister and said that he is cutting all contact with us and changing his phone number. at first he told me hes not sure of what he wants. one week he told me that he had feelings for me and i was in his heart but it wasnt strong enough to do anything about it. then a week later just like that he turns around and says to me he dont love me anymore. im not sure what to do. maybe it is just over. but it is ok for him to turn up where i am and contact me and then when i did it to him it wasnt ok, and he got angry, double standardscan his feelings just change like that? when we were together he was wearing my ring with my initials on it that my dad gave me. he told me it is speacial to him and he will always wear it (he said that when we were together). i told him i would like it back coz my dad gave it to me. he told me he would send it in the mail. but it has been a month and i dont think im getting it back. why would he need to hold onto my ring if he doesnt aparently have feelings for me?? its confusing mewe have n=been over for over 8months now. do you think he may change his mind coz he has no contact with me? do u think he still has feelings for me? i dont understand how he can love me so much one day and then not then next. he told me even if we arent together i am still his angel and no one will ever know him or love him like i did...why say that
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Well, I am sorry this must be very frustrating to you, I think he is very confused about where he wants the relationship to go, perhaps he thinks that you are too young to get married or feels that you are not mature enough for him or something like that...I would let him go for now just like you have been and I would not have contact with him, tell him you want your ring back...give him the space that he has asked for, I assume that you have told him how you feel about him and that you wanted to stay together, and he still broke up with you...to make things easier for you, I would start casually dating other men and having fun...you have never done that and I am not sure why as you are young and usually young people like to meet more than one person to help them figure what they want and who they are....You don't want to just sit around and wait for him, this gives him all the power over you, and that is not good for you....it is not so important what he is saying to you, it is how he is behaving and treating you that you need to pay attention to....he is trying to move on from you for whatever reason.
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