A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:So, ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years. the first few years were amazing, we were so inlove, everything was wonderful sunshine and lollipops. All of a sudden things started going down hill, i was having family problems, and i was feeling quite depressed and my boyfriend made new friends and started going out drinking every weekend and during the week having coffee with these new friends all the time he started neglecting me during this really hard time and basically treated me like absolute dirt, being mean to me, ignoring my phone calls, not putting in any effort.So these new friends were 3 girls and a boy, one of these girls i specifically didnt like because on my boyfriends birthday i made cup cakes and tried to make friends with these girls, i offered her a cupcake and she dirty looked me and said dont ask me again, i also found out she was trying to get my bf to brake up with me calling me names and things i then found out that on new years i recieved an extremely romantic text message from my boyfriends phone, i found out that this girl wrote it, that hurt me so much. then, my bf asked if he could sleep over at her house and said others would be there but i wasnt comfortable with this and said no and i begged him not to go and he went anyway and slept at her house. finally he stopped being friends with her about 6 months ago shortly after the new years thing. So since they stopped being friends he has started to be so wonderfull to me again, and he has been making me so happy and i feel so inlove with him. EXCEPTi just found out a week ago, that he cheated on me with this girl a year ago, apparently only kissing but he has lied to me for so long and kept secrets i dont know if i can believe this. My boyfriend told me because he was feeling so guilty and wanted full trust and honesty in our relationship. I dont know how to feel. I feel i cant trust him, i cant believe a word he says, this girl was so mean to me, he knew how mean she was to me and he still did it, his excuse was that he was drunk. Im so confused because the last few months he has been really good to me, and this cheating occured a year ago during the really bad patch.I dont know what to do because i love him so much, he was making me really happy and now ....i dont knowhe has been saying things to me such as, i love you do much i was such a fool i didnt see what i had but now i do, i will never do it again, i dont know why i did it, i can treat you like a princess like you have always deserved, you mean the world to me, when im not with you im so sad, ive never felt this was about anyone else but you etc. and he appears to be trying really hard, spoiling me with flowers to say sorry and buying me gifts, giving up work to come and see me to say sorry, he has ditched his friends a couple of times to try and spoil me. at the time this makes me a bit happy and things seem better and i think well maybe we can work through this but i fell as tho my judgement is so clouded, and i dont know what is best for myself? i just want to be happy. i do love him so much still..what do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): well lies breathes lies doesn't it. when you were at your lowest instead of your bf of 5 years being supportive what did he do - he cheated and during this time he reated you like dirt. now you are just remembering the good times. if he has done this once do you think he has it in him to do the same again. YES.
YOU have to decide whether you can trust him again. i am scepticale that he only kissed her. no way. you need to get more details. he is not telling you the truth, therefore he lied about this girl for a girl. a mere kiss is nothing, but he got up to something. trust your gut and please do not be a fool. his words are all lovey dovey but what are they really.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 first thing is that when u went through a bad time with your family, instead of your bf being there for u he neglected u.
he also cheated during this period and hid it from u. only now telling u the full truth.
he doesnt sound too great to be honest (the only good thing i can see is that he was honest and told u the truth finally)
the thing is trust is the basis of any relationship if u dont trust him then u cant ever be happy with him.
how do u know he wont do this again when u go thru a bad patch?
and there's always gonna be lows with the highs in life, there's every chance he cud do this again.
its upto u to weigh up how much u love him with do u trust him enough to give him a 2nd chance?
give urself time and ur gut instinct will tell u what to do.
any man who truly loves a women wouldnt neglect her in her waking hours, thats just selfish and mean.
good luck!
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