A
female
age
30-35,
*ooklover
writes: Okay, my boyrfriend of five months has been talking to his ex, what do I do?I've been dating my boyfriend for five months, and there are times that he talks to his ex. I've told him before that I dont like him talking to her when I'm not around, that I dont like her. I dont want to be one of those girlfriends that tell their boyfriends who to talk to and who not to talk to. But I dont want him to talk to her, it's just that they have history together, he loved her, he may still love her. It's not that I quiestion his love for me, I know he loves me, he's told me multiple times. It's just that, I'm scared that he's going to want to get back with her, and she's going to hurt him again, and that I'm going to be left behind, again. I guess what I'm asking is, how do I tell him that I really don't want him to talk to her when I'm not around, and that he'll understand that I mean it. I dont want to say, 'You can talk to her, ever.' That's just not me, I just want him not talking to her alone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): You need to have a very long conversation with your boyfriend about this. And unfortunately, you may face some hard truths.
Tell him how it make you feel when he talks to his ex. If he truly cares how you feel, then he'll stop.
But if he makes excuses and refuses to change, then you need to face the fact that his feelings for the ex are stronger than his feelings for you (no matter what he says), and you need to break it off. Your self respect is at issue here, and you need to do what's best for you!
You deserve to be cherished by your boyfriend, not used as a "rebound." The sooner you find out which, the better.
Best of luck to you! I hope things change for the better!
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