A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Here's my dilema: I've been married to a wonderful, but somewhat boring man for about 20 years. (We married very young). When I think back to the things that attracted me to my husband in the beginning, it was never about sex, or physical chemistry. He treated me well. He wanted to be with me and I wanted some stability; the kind I had yet to find in the guys was normally attracted to. Now, 20 years later I find that I am terribly bored. My husband and I have little in common. He's the "strong-silent" type and I have not felt emotionally connected to him in years. If ever. We have no children. He is still a kind, caring man but I am not attracted to him. I haven't ever really enjoyed having sex with him, though I do it because I know he expects it and it's "the right thing to do"...but now I find the whole idea a bit repulsive.Recently, I met a man whom I am wildly attracted to. He is also a nice guy, 5 years older than I am, but more adventurous, interesting, fun to be around, and a great communicator. We clicked immediately and began seeing each other a year ago. I am in love with this man but I am aware that he is not "perfect" either. He has a quick temper and is a perfectionist. And while he has always been good about involving me in his life, he's not overly affectionate. He doesn't "dote" over me the way my husband used to and I didn't realize it until now -- how important that is. However, our sex life is more exciting and I feel more emotionally connected to him inspite of his temper tantrums and critical nature. So do I leave a relatively "safe", known relationship with a man who loves me but bores me to death? Advise anyone?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2006):
Your husband treats you well, provides stability, and used to dote on you. You are ahead of 95% of the women on the planet, you realize that dont you?
Then you trapise off and have an exiting affair presumablly in the free time you have while he is at work supporting you.
So now you have excitment and stability, better than 99% of the women on the planet.
Still not enough for you... you want to leave the husband who has take care of you for 20 years and go chase a mirage. I think we all know how that is going to end.
Meanwhile your husband is deceived, used and ignored. Are you putting as much effort into your marriage as you are into your affair? He is not your entertainment committee. If you are so bored why do you sign both of you up for something interesting like a skydiving class? Or are you getting something out of being the victim?
A
male
reader, kindly +, writes (2 October 2006):
I just think that there are sometimes things more importante than "sex-life".You should better try to have childreen if it's still possible.It's a very exiting experience...to share love with togother.It's time for you to make a choice ,none but yourself can make this choice.thank you
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