A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known a guy for around half a year now, and I guess you can say we're in a long distance relationship since he lives 4 hours away. He comes to visit maybe once every 2-3 weeks cuz his parents and sister are also here, but we Email each other pretty much every day. I already brought up at the very beginning how in the long term, it's easier if we live in the same city. He said he understands and that hopefully things will work out for his next job as he was trying to find a job here, but unfortunately it didn't work out so he's still working in his city. He told me things are not that stable at his current company (i.e. potential layoffs) so I forwarded a bunch of job posting (in my city) to him. He thanked me, but I am fairly sure he didn't apply to any of them yet since he said he wasn't too sure on switching jobs yet. Instead, he applied to another job that a co-worker gave him a contact for, which is still in his city. I don't know if he has the intention of moving here anytime soon. He had asked me if my mom asked any questions about him, and when I said she asked if he was going to move here, he replied that he has been living in his city for 15 years. He wasn't saying it in a mean way...he's never been mean to me, I can tell he is very sincere and honest so far and he said that he loved me (through Email) which was nice considering I had no intention of saying it first. But regardless, I'm a bit confused, because he's 41 and has said he wants to have a family someday, and he said in his Email that "we'll have to take it one step at a time, will we eventually get m_______? We'll have to see as we go along....be positive" He does not seem to be afraid of committment, but yet it doesn't seem to bother him that we're not living in the same city. What's your view on this? On a side note, do you think I should visit him someday? I haven't visited him yet - I don't know anyone there except him. Thanks
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female
reader, emily-jo  +, writes (19 April 2007):
 Hiya huni,
It seems to me that he has no intention of moving to where you are for he hasnt applied to any of the job application forms that you sent over to him, if he loved you as much as he said that he does, then he would try anything and everything to be with you.
Even if it means leaving everything for you, for you would do anything for the person that you love. Are you sure that he truelly loves you???
Has he ever asked you to go over to his city before?
My mum was in a relationship simular to yours and she was with her boyfriend for 3 years, and it was him coming over to see my mum, he never asked her to go and see him at his place.
Later that year, she found out where he livid and went to see him as a suprise, only to find when she got there that he was married with 3 children and that was the end of that relationship. Im not saying thats what you boyfriend is doing but you never no. Maybe you should suprise him and go and see him too, it could make things bettter or worse, but you never no unless you try.
Please let me know how things go on i am hear to help.
Emily-jo xx
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